Her Name Was Beth

I tried writing this earlier, but I could barely keep my eyes opened.  The meds are kicking my butt and so is the tumor on my liver.

Below I am including a journal entry written by my friend Bethany who fought her battle with Ovarian Cancer bravely, with much grace and undeniable inspiration.

Her parents copied this entry for me, when she died.

"She said that she was taught years ago that cancer was a disease of anger. It’s ironic, I don’t recall ever being an angry child. I don’t recall being angry until I was old enough to know what cancer was and what it might mean for my life.

Sometimes you become so accustom to living a certain way you forget how important other aspects of your life are because you’ve been ignoring your own needs in hopes to survive.

What I am grateful for today: A new friend

A ride home

Laughter

Another day of life

My own bed

Irene came in to my room on Saturday miserably. Her eyes full of hope and sorrow. My first thought was she’s cute. My second thought was it has been way too long. She told me her story, I told her mine.

We talked about everything and especially of her new boyfriend that she spoke to on the phone numerous times but one time in particular that is still making me laugh. She has the heartiest laugh I have heard in all my life. She has far more courage than she thinks and her maturity is that of a very old soul who has lived and learned lessons a few times over. If my purpose on this planet of this time and age is to give someone my love for life, my spirit...it is meant for Irene. She holds much of that on her own and is modest about it. She just needs to believe. Believe, believe, believe, believe.

I’m not afraid anymore. I have not been fearful for sometime now.. Through cancer I have found the meaning of my life.

Dad and Mom are coming up for dinner tonight. I told Mom I wanted to fall in love before I died. She told me not to use the "d" word.

My new friend walk with the ease of the wind. Have the strength to continue and know even if you feel alone you are never really alone.

Turn in circles like you did as a kid until you are dizzy and can’t stand it any longer. Laugh loudly, stick your head out of the window while your friend is driving fast+ down a country road, pop your bubble gum the way your mom hated you to, chase the good humor man and then let your pop sickle melt, play hop scotch and hide and seek, love everyone you come in contact with especially the difficult ones.

Good night and thank you for another day LORD.

Bethany"

I hope you "get" the lesson in those words.  Bethany lived her life with purpose and meaning.  She inspired me to do the same.  I never liked hearing people say Bethany "lost" her battle with cancer.  As far as I'm concerned she lived her life despite her cancer.  It never defined who she was. She "lost" nothing!!

Mammogram and ultra sound for my breast tomorrow...well later today (Tuesday).  Say prayers please.  : )

I love y'all and all the comments are absolutely amazing!!!!!!!!!! Thank you!

*** Please say prayers for Nathan (He is starting chemo and radiation again.), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Mr. Russo, Ms Pammy (recovering from surgery.), Lenore ~ she's having a recurrence in her lungs, Trish, David Carey, Sugar, Cindy (She's in remission),Tammy (she's in remission) and Jeannette. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is in Iraq.

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!