I do think about dying.
I think about living, far more.
I like to make jokes about my cancer.
It helps me cope.
Belly laughter is the best.
Being too serious makes me crazy.
I cry, but usually late at night in the dark.
I have bad days.
I rarely let anyone know it.
I do still wonder why me sometimes.
I'm a night owl.
I sleep late.
There are still phone rules. Ha ha.
I have a phone list for when and if that day comes.
I want my funeral to be a huge celebration.
I don't want anyone wearing black.
My family and friends are amazing.
I need my family and friends.
I worry about my family and my friends worrying about me.
I want to get married and have a family.
I'm a little scared of starting radiation, or not.
I don't like to be called "sick".
I really don't like being treated that way either.
I need to be touched when I'm in pain.
I need to be distracted when I'm in pain.
I usually get choked up when people hug me.
Jelly Belly's and Mike & Ike's are my favorites.
Pizza and crabs too.
Peppermint tea still helps my upset tummy.
Taking my meds works best.
I love talking on the phone and answering emails.
Feeling the sun on my face relaxes me.
Being active makes me feel better.
Music sets me at ease.
Singing does too.
Children inspire me.
My cancer inspires me to write.
My cancer reminds me how precious my life is.
"No matter how I die or the circumstances of my death...I am sure that I will leave this earth the way Isaiah descibes.
The mountains and hills will burst forth in song before you! And all the trees of the field will clap their hands."
If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!