Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Cancer Patient Gets Liver Pain Under Control & Tummy Cancer Goes Wild

Finally,  pain I can say that was WORSE than child birth!  SERIOUSLY.  The only difference...I didn't deliver any of the cancer.  It's all still inside of me. What a bad deal!! 12:31 am yesterday morning.  I'm uncomfortable.  I get out of bed, go to the kitchen for some water.  I came back to my room and used the potty.  I turned the light on, paced the floor for oh I don't know a few minutes, and at 12:37 am all hell broke loose in my tummy.  Before you ask, YES I took an Oxycontin at 10:30 pm.  It obviously wasn't working!!!!!!!  I tossed my cookies.  I sat on the edge of my bed rocking back and forth convincing myself the pain was going to subside.  It didn't.  I screamed for my mother three times.  In her nightie, obviously startled she came into my room trying to figure out what was wrong with me.  All I managed to get out was "it hurts, it hurts...it's never going to stop."  Trust me, I believed that.  I don't know why I insist on rocking back and forth when it's painful BUT I do it. Mom sat right next to me, rubbing my back while I sobbed and told her I just couldn't do "this" anymore. Scary words to say...worse when you actually feel like it's true.  I called my sister at 1:41 am.  She's usually excellent at calming me. The pain was too much though and I could barely concentrate on what she was saying to me.  Mom kept taking the phone, updating Pamela and handing it back to me.  Pain wasn't going away.  Neither was my sobbing.  Peppermint tea!!  That always seem to calm my tummy some.  Mom went to brew it.  The pain still wasn't subsiding.  I knew I was going to die.  I hung up with Pam, and Mom came back with a cup of tea.  She again sat right next to me and I laid my head on her shoulder and just let it all go.  Uncontrollable tears. I sipped the tea and Mom convinced me to take a half a Percocet even though it wasn't time.  I did.  She propped pillows up on the bed, put my legs under the covers and made sure I was sitting up as "comfortable" as I couldbe.  More tea.  Less rocking back and forth. Still sobbing. The pillows felt good behind me and at 2:07 am the meds put the cancer to sleep for the night.  Shortly after, I was asleep too.

Those tummy "sessions" used to only last twenty minutes or so.  That one stayed from 12:37 am to 2:07 am.  Believe me when I tell you, I don't want to "do" that again and I don't know if I could.

I told Mom, if that continues to happen....she needs to shoot me because I am not willing to live like that.  It just isn't living!

The ultra sound on my breast and mammogram is tomorrow at 1:45 pm.  Mom is taking me since I can't drive doped up!

It's way after bed time.  I have to tuck in. 

I love y'all!!!!!!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxox

Please say prayers for my parents . They "watch" me every single day. They do anything and everything they can to make my life easier and comfortable.  Even when I'm at my worst, they still love  me and laugh with me.

Please say prayers for my sister who feels helpless when I make those "after hour" calls.  She never says so, but I can only imagine if I were in her shoes how badly I'd want to rescue her.  She's my sister...."without her I don't make sense"!!!!!!!!!!

 

*** Please say prayers for Nathan (He is starting chemo and radiation again.), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Mr. Russo, Ms Pammy (recovering from surgery.), Lenore ~ she's having a reoccurrence in her lungsTrish, David Carey, Sugar, Cindy (She's in remission),Tammy (she's in remission) and Jeannette. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is in Iraq.

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

 

 

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15 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am glad you finally got the pain relief that you wanted.  It is a shame it took so long.  Hopefully you are resting better now.  You are always in our constant prayers.  An update on Lenore:  She has a reoccurence of her lung cancer.  They have taken her off of IV chemo and have started her on Oral med.Tarceva.  She is having more bad days than good, but she is trying hard to beat the side effects.  Thank you always mentioning her,she appreciates it.
Love from us in New Jersey, Aunt Tania

Anonymous said...

 Aol Journals weren't available when I first came in to check on you. I love you my friend. I hate it for you when you have bad episodes.
 I went home and found all my books for George along with getting him a Chicken Soup book. Hope all goes well today. I'll call you when I'm off this afternoon!!
 Love you best friend!!

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry you are suffering like this...i hope you can get relief soon..
Lyn

Anonymous said...

hello princess rene crack corn:) hee hee dont you just love that commercial:)
jim, jimbo, jimmie crack corn!! yes i am laughing so dam hard!!!!
my arms are around your neck girlfriend and i am throwing paper clips in your hair right now!! LOL!!!   hugs and kisses from my ocean to yours:) love you more!!

Anonymous said...

Hugs

http://journals.aol.co.uk/jeanno43/JeannettesJottings/

Anonymous said...

Sorry you are having to endure such pain ~ I'm glad you finally found some comfort wether it be the meds, the tea, mom's gentle touch or the soft spoken words from you sister. I hope your were able to rest peacefully. Hope this day continues with comfort - Take care,
Katie

Anonymous said...

Well, I'm pleased the pain went at last, Irene, but goodness me, that must have been excruciating. Hope they can sort you out sooner rather than later.

Anonymous said...

Irene, I pray that you do not have to suffer like this anymore, it brought tears to my eyes as I read it. Prayers going up for you and all in your family for strength and courage to face each new day.
Hugs
Debbie

Anonymous said...

So sorry you are going through this.

Krissy
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink

Anonymous said...

Hey there!  It is almost time for your appointment.  I just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you and praying for you.  You know that your parents and sister love you and would do anything for you.  You would do the same for them!  I am sure that it means a lot to them that you let them try to help.  Take care--MN

Anonymous said...

(((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU))))))))))))))))I have no words to say,it just saddens me to see you in so much pain.I will be praying for you.I also have a Co worker,my Boyfriends Co worker is going throguh 2 around of Kemo.They thought it was gone,but its not.Praying for you and all of you.

Anonymous said...

praying you have no more of the tummy issues:( that is just bad for recovery

Deb

Anonymous said...

Praying for you... really praying for you...

be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say.....I love u Irene my Princess.....of all Princesses.......

Anonymous said...

Hey you:)  I Hate hearing the amount of pain and discomfort that you are in.  I wish there is something I could do to take it all away.  As hard as it is, remember the man upstairs won't hand you anything he doesn't feel you can't handle and anything that won't make you stronger.  You continue to inspire us all and I know a good day is around the corner............just hang in there my friend!

I am sending many magical hugs and prayers to bring you better days.........all my love!

Michelle