My sister is fabulous, isn't she?? When I started this entry, we were on the phone together looking for pictures of angels that I could post on here. However, when we hung up...I decided to use the above. That is a print by Brian Andreas. He is one of my favorites. I actually have that particular print. My sister gave it to me. It's appropriate. Read the words.
When I went for the liver ultrasound. I had to pick up the doctor's orders, before going to the cancer center to have the test done. I walked in the office and the girl at the front desk said, "Wow...you've been here everyday this week." I asked her if that meant I got a discount on my bill. She said, "No but I'll try to give you some sort of frequent flyer miles!" Ha ha!
I walked out to the elevator opening the sealed envelope with the orders and saw the diagnosis. It said "LIVER MASS". Now, I don't know about you...but to me, it seemed like there was a huge difference between my doc saying it was "spot" and seeing it written as a mass. I realize that is the medical terminology but YIKES!
Anyway, no results still and that makes for a very long weekend. I tried catching up on some much needed sleep today but my phone kept ringing. Hmmmm...if I read the above entries....that wasn't suppose to happen!!! :) I love y'all for being concerned and wanting to know what is going on though!!
The comments have been great. Thankyou with all my heart and gratitude!! I couldn't help but laugh reading all the "Rene comments". I had forgotten that those of you who have never personally met me, might not actually know my name is Irene and my childhood nickname is Rene (pronounced Reenie).
Our spirits here at the house seem to be better. I feel closer to my parents than I have my entire life. It's amazing the "gifts" that come from challenges and obstacles. I wish people would pay better attention to these lessons. They matter in the big picture. In fact, they are a huge part of the big picture.
I woke up at 4:00 am this morning. I was hurting all over. I thought I would check emails while I was up. FC (my cousin Rachel) "caught" me on line. I told her to call me. We cried together. About me and her and "stuff". The sun was coming up when we decided to say goodnight. The "time" with her, the conversation was one of those moments (a very long moment!!) in my life that felt perfect. Timing, words and the company. I sure love you Rach.
I am going to snuggle up and get some sleep.
All of you make a difference in my life. I love you for it.
When you wake up in the morning, try to see the big picture in your life. Moments are what we have, and they should be treasured. Lessons don't always come easy, but they open our eyes and with any luck put what is important, into perspective. Chase the dream. Know there's hope. Believe in miracles. Even when "it" feels bad. Life is oh so good.
I thank God for giving me these words and for the blessing of my amazing journey in this life.
Good night.
*** Please say prayers for Tammy and her family.
*** Please say prayers for Nathan (He is starting chemo and radiation again.), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Mr. Russo, Ms Pammy (recovering from surgery.), Lenore, Trish, David Carey, Sugar, Cindy (She's in remission),Tammy (she's in remission) and Jeannette. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .
*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family. He is in Iraq.
If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!
13 comments:
You are right, even when it feels bad life is so good. Thank you for your lessons... inpsiration. Sending you healing prayers....
be well,
Dawn
You are such a blessing to so many!
God bless,
Sugar
Hi Irene, I happened across your journal a couple weeks ago, please forgive me for not leaving a comment sooner. Yes your sister is fabulous! The love of a sister knows no bounds, it reaches to the depths of our souls and carries us when we feel we can no longer carry ourselves. I know what your sister is going through as I lost my youngest sister to cancer a year ago in March. And yes Irene, I do believe in angels because I have glided on her beautiful wings and she has given me comfort. Though we have not yet said our final goodbyes, she has given me a glimpse into her eternal life of happiness. When the day comes that I must bid her farewell, I shall be at peace, she has carried me on this journey, through the love of a sister.
I do hope my writing hasn't been a discouragement to you or your family, for that is not my intention. I hope and pray that you have many more years with your loved ones. I have seen through the heart of my sister the beautiful breakfast table God has prepared and should you meet my lil sis please give her my love.
Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Love
Debbie
Love the saying you choose to share with us. I'm so happy that you have your family. I hope your tests come out good. Hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Take care, Chrissie
http://journals.aol.com/nay0114/almost-paradise-ii/
Hi, I have just come back from holiday. You were very much on my mind while I was away and I checked on your progress as soon as I got back. 2 weeks without access to the internet makes me feel really out of touch! As always I send you my prayers and very best wishes for healing. Love Christine
Rene, you continue to amaze me. Your spirit shines through miles and miles. Keep up your incredible attitude!
Love, Amy
One thing, if anything good coming away from all this -- you will know you are loved! I read the other comments and read your posts, and I know you know how blessed you are in that department. I am praying for you! God Bless and I hope you get some rest after the cousin call. Sounded like it was just the ticket for the moment though, and I'm glad you both were available to one another.
Well, carry on as is, Irene. I had worked out the name from your screenie :-). The doctor will tell you if the spot/mass whatever is worth worrying about. I can imagine that the word would strike home. Await the result and carry on regardless.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Irene}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Deb
Your words, your courage and your strength are so inspiring and uplifting. That third paragraph from the bottom... Oh, my Lord. It just helped open my eyes when I read it. I feel this way often, but even MORE than that, I lose sight... THANK YOU, for reminding me.
I would like to ask if I might quote and give credit to you for that paragraph and share it in my journal as well. I've decided to spend more time in my private journal, revisiting old wounds so that I might heal and find the answers that I need to move on and begin living a fuller life again. I would like to invite you to visit me there, but at this point in time, it's not exactly an uplifting read, but I'm getting there... ;o)
Thank you for sharing your life and your heart.
Michelle
http://journals.aol.com/inafrnz247/Reflections/
http://journals.aol.com/inafrnz247/MoreReflections/ (private)
Good Afternoon Princess......The little picuture with the powerful words is soooo true. I hope u get some well needed rest and can't wait to see u next month.. I told ur sisiter that I would love to have a sister like her.....if I had one....I am so
pleased to hear about your family and all the support u have down there....yeah and you know you have prayers and thoughts from all over coming your way....I love color of your bedroom....I remember giving u yellow roses once at work and you stated how did you know that is my favorite.....well yellow roses is my favorite too, thats way I got them for you.....I don't call people much anymore...I have started a while back >>>>>like after my sister-in-law got breast cancer and then me skin cancer.....to enjoy everyday to the fullest....I also have been making time to go and see my relatives in Cumberland....I am planning a surprise visit to Columbus, Ohio to see my cousin that was the closest to my age....Fannor and I are going to see the Niagra Falls the next to last wk end in september. God has created such BEAUTY. REMEMBER I LOVE U PRINCESS....LOVE PAMMY
A couple of thoughts as I read your journal. One is that, despite the fact that I don't usually care for yellow, I LOVE YOUR ROOM COLOR! Plus, those 3 square windows are really cool. Second, I agree with you that a spot and a mass are 2 very different things. HOWEVER, I have known doctors to "exaggerate" the truth to get the details they need. It is possible that the ultrasound for a "spot" versus a "mass" is different. Sometimes they don't trust the radiology department to get all the details they want. The term "spot" may also be his version of a layman's term for "mass" as well because we all feel differently about a "mass" than we do a "spot".
I loved the colour of your room but then its the colour of my living room...so I would...wouldn't I? Yellow is redolent of the sun and it lights up all the dark corners. Shadows have nowhere to hide in a yellow room. Only smiling faces live in one.
I liked the picture and the words above. So very true Irene. When I walked into our surgery one day during my treatment they were interviewing a new receptionist. I laughed and said 'I wish I was coming here for a job and not for more blood tests, I'm searching for space on my callendar to place appointments' Lol!.
My doctor's receptionists were lovely too.
You always look on the bright side of life I notice. And that is how it should be..pain and worry taken into consideration. Why should our true selves be swallowed up...hmmm?
Don't let the word use of 'mass' take over your happiness time...do what you do so well. Live one moment or one hour or one day at a time. How lovely you were helped through a painful moment through the night when you bumped into Rachel your cousin on-line. See? God works in mysterious ways.
God Bless
Jeanie xxx
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