Tuesday, August 7, 2007

The Balance

  Yesterday was a fabulous day!!  Sarah's riding lesson was cancelled but Pamela said I could still take the Suburban into Mo County to "run around".  Now, anyone who knows me well realizes I am terrible following directions.  So, getting me out of DC was a task.  Not 15 minutes into my drive,  I was already going the wrong way.  Pamela of course, got me untwisted and stayed on the phone with me until we knew I was going the correct way...and I finally was. 

The drive wasn't terrible and when I saw the signs for 270 and Montgomery County, I called the man, as excited as a little kid.  I was thrilled to be in familiar territory.

I visited my "family" at Capital Women's Care, both offices.  Not much has changed there, and seeing everyone was heart warming and exciting.  For those of you that don't know, I worked for Capital Women's Care when ALL of my health issues...became SERIOUS issues.  They were beyond good to me.  So, when I say family.  I mean it with all my heart.  Everyone was shocked at the weight loss and there were lots of jokes about cancer being the new diet plan!!!  Dr.  Lakner told me a survivor story of one of his friends.  I appreciate survivor stories and the fact that he took time to share it with me.  By the way Mom, Kumba asked about you and Dad and Dr. Laurin did as well.  As I said previously, they are my family.

Stephen asked me to meet him at his office at 5:15 pm.  Yes, it was the first time we had seen each other in a year and a half. Nervous doesn't even cut it for how I was feeling.  I spoke to Julie the entire time I was waiting for him.  I seriously thought I was going to be sick.  Jules, thanks for laughing at me!!!!!!!!!!!!  He was a few minutes late, but when I saw his face I couldn't have been happier.  Of course, I was still so nervous he actually had to open the door of the Suburban and help me out.  It seemed like no time had been between us at all.   I wouldn't let go of his hand and he kept saying he couldn't believe we were together again.   I know some of you are gagging with this "love story"...but really.....it has taken me FOREVER to get it right so I deserve the happy ending and all the mushy stuff in between!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  :)

By the time I got back on base, dinner had been tossed up, and sitting was more painful than I care to explain.  I took a pain killer and tucked in.

Today, I stayed medicated all day.  Walking even hurts.  Not a little, ALOT.  I can feel more lymph nodes in my tummy that have popped out.  It really scares me.  I suppose it wouldn't so much, if I wasn't in such pain.  Well, maybe that isn't true.  Regardless, it is what it is....cancer, and I am certain it is spreading.

I spent some shut door alone time with my oldest niece, Sarah.  She's a great kid.  We giggled and traded sarcasm.  I love her so much and when she gets older I can only hope she knows how special those moments were for me.  I am blessed.

Other than that, I slept most of the day.  I came downstaits around 10:00 pm.  Pamela was getting ready to go up for bed.  She hugged me and it felt good to cry on her shoulder.  I wish it was that way all the time.  She shared with me that both her and David peeked in on me while I was asleep.  The difference between the two of them checking on me was this...Pamela ALWAYS makes certain I am still breathing.  Dave just makes certain I am there!!!  Ha ha!!!  :)

It always seems like with one GREAT day, there's a not so great day to follow.  Often it is difficult to remember if I didn't have one, I couldn't feel the other.  I appreciate that balance in life.  I am well aware it absolutely has to happen.  Without one, there can't be the other.  When I say to you, I am grateful for the tragedy and situations in my life.  I mean it.  If it wasn't for such sadness and pain, I could never enjoy absolute joy and happiness.

Tomorrow is a new day.  I pray I will see it.  If I don't...I'll "save you a seat at the breakfast table".

I love y'all.




*** Please say prayers for Nathan (They didn't "get it all".), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Mr. Russo, Ms Pammy (recovering from surgery.), LenoreTrish, David Carey, Sugar, Cindy (She's in remission),Tammy (she's in remission) and Jeannette. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is in Iraq, fighting the war.

 

If this is yourfirst time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!





20 comments:

Anonymous said...

Awww... I'm so happy that you are enjoying seeing your family. I know it means just as much to them to have you around. At least your sister isn't like me, when I'm around my sisters I have to scare the crap out of them at least once. I'm the annoying little sister I have to live up to my title even at 42.
I'm glad you got to see Stephen and you know what enjoy all the mushy stuff you wanna.
Hope you have some more wonderful days while you're visiting.
Take care, Chrissie

Anonymous said...

I am so happy for your GREAT DAY! I hope you have many, many more there. You are truly an inspiration to a lot of people....
God bless and keep you,
love ya,
carlene

Anonymous said...

it sounds like you had a wonderful day today. Your family sounds great. It's so nice that they treat you so well. I love a good love story. Mush and all.

Anonymous said...

{{{ Irene }}}}  Praying for many more days for you to see... hopefully more good than bad!!!  You are an amazing person...and I am so glad that you had such a special day, and sorry that you are in pain.  Dang it.

be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/

Anonymous said...

enjoy your vacation:) have a happy hump day

Deb

Anonymous said...

May God bless you and give you many more great days to enjoy pain free. Hugs, Helen

Anonymous said...

I feel you about getting lost in the Tri DC/VA/MD area....LOL.  I get lost going home sometimes from Pwork.  I journalled a short time ago (I think) about getting lost from Rosslyn VA on my way back to MD.  I ended up off I270 near the Mormon Tabernacle Temple.  Don't ask me how I got there, I just took the wronggggg road, LOL.  But I don't call it lost, I call it an adventure because if you look out the window - think of some of the things you would never have had a chance to have seen.  Its pretty spectacular and oh yes, sometimes creepy, but still "Its An Adventureeeee!"  I will pray that you will have no problems getting back home and hope you have a wonderful visit.  You sound pretty blessed to have such caring family.  God Bless!

Anonymous said...

{{{Irene}}} I hope you have a better day and enjoy your vacation. :o)
Lisa

Anonymous said...

Dear Irene~So glad you had a fabulous day. I think the love story is enchanting; you certainly do deserve to have it be happy with him! Sounds like you are surrounded by a lot love; this is always a blessing. Stay blessed~Deb;-)

http://jouranls.aol.com/sassydee50/SassysWORD

Anonymous said...

So happy you had such a nice day & are having a wonderful time!!!
Sorry to hear you're in pain, hope you have some strong pain meds to help with that. {{ }} Know that my thoughts & love are there with you, holding your hand when you hurt.
Have a lovely vacation.
Hugs & prayers,
Sugar

Anonymous said...

It's both encouraging and painful reading your Journal.  Encouraging because you've not allowed your illness to define your self.  Painful because you suffer.  Also inspiring, as I've also been touched with the unusual blessing that is cancer.  Many find that knowing they'll most likely die before their loved ones is a gift, a special Godly gift to be grateful for.  Yet we humans need each other, don't want to let go.  I encourage you to continue about the business of shining the light of what you endure for others to take hope from.  God bless you + xoxo CATHY

Anonymous said...

BTW, I like Nin too, Stieglitz, Georgia O'Keefe.  And my cleavage.  

Anonymous said...

Good days are priceless when your dealing with what your dealing with. I cherished my good days, which weren't many when I was going through chemo and radiation treatments. I'm glad you are enjoying your vacation. ((((((((hugs)))))))
Love,
Cindy

Anonymous said...

Yes my Princess Irene.....it was great to see you at Capital Women's Care in our Rockville location, the first home base of your job with us.    Gee, I am just a little jealous of the great tan you have....haha...maybe I should put on some baby oil and get me a great tan....haha.....but that will not happen....You were a summer breeze coming in the door.....I was so glad to see you and so was everyone else. As I read all the other entries of comments they all are so up lifted by your keep on keeping on way of life....now Stephen....make my girl happy happy.....hugs, hugs and sweet talk.....all good stuff....you brighten up her smile and eyes....You are doing too too much at one time......rest, rest some....take it easy my girl....love u Pammy

Anonymous said...

It was great spending time with you on Monday and Michael was SO GLAD to see you!!!!!!  Hope today found a better day for you and that you are still glowing from seeing Stephen!

Hugs,
Michelle

Anonymous said...

I am so glad you got this time to spend with Pamela and family.  Family is so special at a time like this.  I am also glad that you got to spend some time with your LOVE.  Great memories.  Keep up the good work.  You are a very special person and God will be kind to you. Love, Aunt Tania

Anonymous said...

That does sound like a fantastic day for you, Irene.

Anonymous said...

You put me in mind of that country song about I hope some day you get to live like you were dying.  Hugs and blessings to you!!  I pray each day holds a treasure!!  -  Barbara

Anonymous said...

((((((((((((HUGSTOYOu)))))))))))))))HAve a nice weekend.

Anonymous said...

hey renee,

glad to hear you made it to d.c. again! so, so sorry about your current pain. sounds horrible! you have some really neat nieces and nephews, and of course sister, and i can't leave out the rest of the family. your tub story was soooooooooo funny! that's a great one to tell for a while. i got locked out of my house on sunday. my WONDERFUL husband ( who is somehow a pilot, but no common sense!) locked the door from the garage to the house. why? have no idea. so of course, everyone who might could have helped was no where in sight. i finally called my WONDERFUL husband and bragged how I was going to spend $125 of his hard earned money that week to get into the house. it was only almost 100 degrees out! we had already been to church and spent over an hour at Target buying school supplies, and of course I decided I'd rather use my clean toilet. Well, that had to wait a while! at least I had my car to keep the a/c running. So i paid, $125 for some guy to show me that he could appear at my house anytime and stick some piece of metal in my lock and break in !!!!!!

what a day!

i hope it made you laugh!

i'm really going to send you those seashells. what address should I use?

hope you have a much better day tomorrow. I'm thinking of you of course.

Love,
Melinda