The Balance

  Yesterday was a fabulous day!!  Sarah's riding lesson was cancelled but Pamela said I could still take the Suburban into Mo County to "run around".  Now, anyone who knows me well realizes I am terrible following directions.  So, getting me out of DC was a task.  Not 15 minutes into my drive,  I was already going the wrong way.  Pamela of course, got me untwisted and stayed on the phone with me until we knew I was going the correct way...and I finally was. 

The drive wasn't terrible and when I saw the signs for 270 and Montgomery County, I called the man, as excited as a little kid.  I was thrilled to be in familiar territory.

I visited my "family" at Capital Women's Care, both offices.  Not much has changed there, and seeing everyone was heart warming and exciting.  For those of you that don't know, I worked for Capital Women's Care when ALL of my health issues...became SERIOUS issues.  They were beyond good to me.  So, when I say family.  I mean it with all my heart.  Everyone was shocked at the weight loss and there were lots of jokes about cancer being the new diet plan!!!  Dr.  Lakner told me a survivor story of one of his friends.  I appreciate survivor stories and the fact that he took time to share it with me.  By the way Mom, Kumba asked about you and Dad and Dr. Laurin did as well.  As I said previously, they are my family.

Stephen asked me to meet him at his office at 5:15 pm.  Yes, it was the first time we had seen each other in a year and a half. Nervous doesn't even cut it for how I was feeling.  I spoke to Julie the entire time I was waiting for him.  I seriously thought I was going to be sick.  Jules, thanks for laughing at me!!!!!!!!!!!!  He was a few minutes late, but when I saw his face I couldn't have been happier.  Of course, I was still so nervous he actually had to open the door of the Suburban and help me out.  It seemed like no time had been between us at all.   I wouldn't let go of his hand and he kept saying he couldn't believe we were together again.   I know some of you are gagging with this "love story"...but really.....it has taken me FOREVER to get it right so I deserve the happy ending and all the mushy stuff in between!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  :)

By the time I got back on base, dinner had been tossed up, and sitting was more painful than I care to explain.  I took a pain killer and tucked in.

Today, I stayed medicated all day.  Walking even hurts.  Not a little, ALOT.  I can feel more lymph nodes in my tummy that have popped out.  It really scares me.  I suppose it wouldn't so much, if I wasn't in such pain.  Well, maybe that isn't true.  Regardless, it is what it is....cancer, and I am certain it is spreading.

I spent some shut door alone time with my oldest niece, Sarah.  She's a great kid.  We giggled and traded sarcasm.  I love her so much and when she gets older I can only hope she knows how special those moments were for me.  I am blessed.

Other than that, I slept most of the day.  I came downstaits around 10:00 pm.  Pamela was getting ready to go up for bed.  She hugged me and it felt good to cry on her shoulder.  I wish it was that way all the time.  She shared with me that both her and David peeked in on me while I was asleep.  The difference between the two of them checking on me was this...Pamela ALWAYS makes certain I am still breathing.  Dave just makes certain I am there!!!  Ha ha!!!  :)

It always seems like with one GREAT day, there's a not so great day to follow.  Often it is difficult to remember if I didn't have one, I couldn't feel the other.  I appreciate that balance in life.  I am well aware it absolutely has to happen.  Without one, there can't be the other.  When I say to you, I am grateful for the tragedy and situations in my life.  I mean it.  If it wasn't for such sadness and pain, I could never enjoy absolute joy and happiness.

Tomorrow is a new day.  I pray I will see it.  If I don't...I'll "save you a seat at the breakfast table".

I love y'all.

*** Please say prayers for Nathan (They didn't "get it all".), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Mr. Russo, Ms Pammy (recovering from surgery.), Lenore, Trish, David Carey, Sugar, Cindy (She's in remission),Tammy (she's in remission) and Jeannette. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is in Iraq, fighting the war.

 

If this is yourfirst time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!