Senses

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you suddenly "lost" one of your senses?  Or if you had to choose one to give up??  Which would be the easiest to sacrifice? 

Would you pass on your eye sight?  Never being able to see the sunset again or the stars in the sky. Or the color of your grandchildren's cheeks on a cold winter day. How about never being able to smell your favorite flowers?? Or taste your Dad's famous cheesecake?? Or even hear the laughter of your niece's and nephew? How about not being able to feel the brush of "his" hand on your cheek? What would you do??

It's sad how we all take these "things" for granted.  Yet, while caught in a moment you realize just how important your senses are. Hearing the laughter, smelling the flowers, paying attention to the details in the trees, hugging and touching.  (And that's just for starters).

Today, I listened to the kids sing songs from the soundtrack, Wicked.  They were fabulous and what added to their performance was their facial expressions.  Priceless. I didn't want them to stop!!  To my advantage, I get to sit in the car with them for eight hours + tomorrow.  I'm certain there will be PLENTY of tunes and singing.

I'm still not packed and the Suburban is rolling out at 9:00 am, so I'm told.  I better call it a day!

I love y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To all of you that I will be seeing very shortly....YYYYAAAAAAHHHHHHHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 

*** Please say prayers for My Aunt Gloria and our family, Nathan (he is doing chemo, again.), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Mr. Russo, Ms Pammy (she's havingsurgery Thursday.), Lenore, Trish and David Carey. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is in Iraq, fighting the war.

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

I'm Walking On Sunshine...

and floating on a noodle!! (Whoever invented the noodle was brilliant by the way!!)  What a fantastic day we had yesterday!!  Back on the lake for swimming and playing.  The weather was perfect.  The kids took rides on Big Bertha (look at the pictures!) as Dad created waves for a bumpy fun adventure.  We didn't even begin to get back onto the boat until after 6:00 pm.

I was "cleared" by one of my doctors to travel and drive.  Although, she said to make certain I did not put myself into situations where I was uncertain of my limitations.  Such as walking too long a distance, driving while feeling dizzy etc.  I promised to "behave"...and well with my sister near by...there's no way I can really misbehave!   :)

I will see my cardiologist in three weeks and have blood work again in two weeks.

I'm feeling great for the most part.  Except, the gout is sort of giving me the blues.  My medication was switched for it.  So, I'm hoping that will make the difference.

We're headed for DC tomorrow morning.  I'm excited! I still have to pack though.  I'm not such a great packer.  In fact, I tend to bring much more than I need!!!!  Ha ha ha!!

I love y'all and will try to write more later. 

 

 

*** Please say prayers for My Aunt Gloria and our family, Nathan (he is doing chemo, again.), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Mr. Russo, Ms Pammy (she's havingsurgery Thursday.), Lenore, Trish and David Carey. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is in Iraq, fighting the war.

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

Accepting Donations

 Whatever you can spare will be greatly appreciated. Ha ha. :)  I was "let go" from my job today.  Sigh.  The talk with Frances was short, the good byes long, and tears....yeah, plenty of those. 

Even though I believe "this" is where I should be...I still feel sad and even a small bit defeated.  It's ok for me to tell myself what my limitations are.  However, when someone else is looking at me and telling me I can't "be used"...it stings.

I'm foot loose and fancy free now.  DC here I come!

I love y'all.

 

 

 

*** Please say prayers for My Aunt Gloria and our family, Nathan (he is doing chemo, again.), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Mr. Russo, Ms Pammy (she's having surgery Thursday.), Lenore, Trish and David Carey. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is in Iraq, fighting the war.

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

She Taught Me How To Walk And Swim Again

Figuratively speaking about my sister, of course!  I went swimming today.  It took plenty of encouragement from the gang to get me to go under the water...BUT I did it!  The pressure in my chest felt unusual and I have to admit I was afraid. However,  there was little coughing, some resting on the float, and  lots of swimming, swimming, swimming.  Did I mention what a TERRIFIC swimmer Ellie has become??!!!!

We came back home after 6:00 pm.  We juggled showers and baths and shortly there after Elizabeth asked me if I was going to take a walk after supper.  She said she would "stay with me or lead the way".  I couldn't pass up that offer!  Of course, as I accepted the invitation, I kept thinking to myself  that my sister is trying to kill me!!  She insisted that she's trying to save my life.  I believe her...but ohhhh my I'm EXHAUSTED!!

It's late and the rest of the house is quiet.  All have tucked in for the evening...and I have to as well.  I got way too much sun, some much needed exercising to pop the lungs back out, and now, I am pooped!!

Thank y'all for coming here and continuing to share this journey with me. 

All my love.

 

 

*** Please say prayers for My Aunt Gloria and our family, Nathan (he just had a bone marrow biopsy), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Mr. Russo, Ms Pammy, Lenore, Trish, and David Carey. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is in Iraq, fighting the war.

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

"Aunt Rene Made It!!"

That is what Ellie exclaimed as we came in the door from our walk after dinner.  Yes, I made it...and as far as I'm concerned it was quite a walk.  However, I feel great and the heart and lungs seem to be happy too.  Other then a bit of coughing....I am FABULOUS!!

(If you click on the pictures above...you'll get close up's of me,  30 lbs  lighter!!  It's amazing what a few stays in the hospital can do for the waist line!!!!!!!!)

I couldn't fall asleep last evening or should I say in the early morning, after the Browning's arrived.  Perhaps it was the excitement, or maybe the anticipation of thinking a nurse was going to come in my room and take my blood!!  Reality, set in eventually and I remembered I was back in my own bed.  I believe I fell asleep after 5:00 am.  No complaints...the company and the pitter patter of those little feet, THRILLS me.

Friday, my last day in the hospital.  I woke up somewhat early.  I didn't put the television on and I tried carefully not to wake my room mate.  I looked out of the window at the sun shinning.  I watched a few birds sit for a moment, and then fly by.  My breakfast tray was sitting in front of me and I took some time to blow on the hot decafe coffee I was given.  Still quiet, I chuckled thinking this hasn't been my usual breakfast in the last few weeks or "breakfast demeanor".  As of lately, I had been jumping in the car, stopping at McDonald's for a fruit parfait and large coffee.  Hardly even taking a second to taste the food, as I am settling in front of my computer at work.

Friday morning, made me quite aware of the way I have been rushing through life. A lesson I have been taught many times.  That morning, in the silence that I was breathing in...I heard my own thoughts and prayers again. I didn't over look thanking God for another precious day, and I apologized for taking the blessings and moments for granted once again.

I realize for some, they just don't believe it is an option.  To slow down, take time, breathe and be grateful for that very moment.  It is an option however. It is simply a choice.

Make the time, take the time...to sip a cup of coffee, to listen to your favorite song three times over, to talk to God, to have a meaningful conversation with your child or spouse.  This is what matters.  I promise.

I have a doctor's note that I am not to drive or work for the next two weeks.  I'll be going into my office on Tuesday to talk to my office manager.  Yes, the one who hasn't been so kind.  I've already told her, that I understand she has an office to run and I would like to continue working there.  I also told her I was well aware that when one person is "missing" from a small office everyone feels the work over load.  I am hoping she is gracious when I ask if I can cut my hours back.  I am praying when I walk out of the office on Tuesday, I am still employed.  If not, the Browning's get me for more than two weeks!!  :)

Speaking of going home with Browning's, I'll be having my 35th birthday celebration at their house!! YEAH!!  Clear your calendars, it's Friday, June 8th.  If you are lucky, you'll get the email including all the details!!  Be there, or be square!!!!!!!!

I'm off to sleep now.  Big day tomorrow.  We're going on the boat and we're going to swim in the lake.

Thank you to all of my wonderful friends who have advised me "not to drown" since I haven't put my lungs underwater since the ummmm....gulp...cancer diagnosis.  Ha! Ha!

Thank you Kelli, Julie and Leeann.  That's an understatement.

Thank you Daddy for my special chocolate cake!!!

I love y'all tons!

CONGRATULATIONS to Heather (Red) and Charles for the birth of their daughter, Isabella Victoria on May 23rd at 9:31 pm.  She weighed in at 7 lbs 6 oz and is 21 inches long!!!!  It's about time Baby Izzy!!!

 

*** Please say prayers for My Aunt Gloria and our family, Nathan (he just had a bone marrow biopsy), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Mr. Russo, Ms Pammy, Lenore, Trish, and David Carey. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is in Iraq, fighting the war.

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

 

 

 

I've Baffled EvenThe Best Of The Best

Dr. Osburn (Chief doctor at ANMED) discharged me from the hospital today saying "I'm still consulting my colleagues and text books about you.  Thank you for being such a strange and interesting case".  Would I ever do anything half ass I was thinking to myself!!!

Yahhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooo I am home and happy about it...and yes I know the big 'ole secret.  I was sort of clued in when I realized my mother had been at the grocery for more than two hours.  I mean really, her, dad and I couldn't eat THAT much food.  I had a feeling The Browning Five would be visiting. Mom was filling her cart up with food for the Grand kids!!!!!!!!!!  I am beyond excited!!  When Pamela finally confessed, I cried, and cried, and cried. If the doctors give me an ok, I'll be riding back to DC with them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      21 days until my 35th birthday!!!!!!!!!!

I spent many moments today looking out of my hospital window and thinking about my time.  I jotted down some thoughts...and when I am not feeling so tired I will put them in here to share.

Dr. Osburn concluded that he was not "SO concerned with my lungs" because if he can't keep my heart beating...the lungs just don't matter.  Yeah, I suppose that makes a whole lot of sense!

I am trying desparately to stay awake for the Browning's arrival.  However, I'm just not seeing it happen.

Again, I cannot thank everyone enough for the phone calls and well wishes and prayers.

Though I've said this before, I MUST say it again.  I love my parents, they are absolutely amazing.

I love y'all too. Sweet dreams!

 

PS ~ CONGRATULATIONS to Heather (Red) and Charles for the birth of their daughter, Isabella Victoria on May 23rd at 9:31 pm.  She weighed in at 7 lbs 6 oz and is 21 inches long!!!!  It's about time Baby Izzy!!!

*** Please say prayers for My Aunt Gloria and our family, Nathan (he just had a bone marrow biopsy), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Mr. Russo, Ms Pammy, Lenore, Trish, and David Carey. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is in Iraq, fighting the war.

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

 

I Wish You Enough

A friend of mine (of 20+ years) sent this to me.  She said she thought of Rene when she read it.  I think you'll find the same.  Thanks Kelli.  I love you too!


Recently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together
at the airport. They had announced the departure.

Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, "I love
you and I wish you enough".

The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough.
Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom".

They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to
cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?".

"Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking,
but why is this a forever good-bye?".

"I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral," she said.

"When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough'. May I ask what that means?".

She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone". She paused a moment
and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. "When we said , 'I wish you enough', we were wanting the other person
to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them". Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from
memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

She then began to cry and walked away.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them but then an entire life to forget them.

I know I've said this before, but it deserves repeating.  If you are reading this you probably do have more than enough.  Whether or not you realize it is a completely different story.

Have a wonderful day, I'm going to pack!

Love,
Pamela

P.S.- Did you notice that this entry was longer?  We got a new computer yesterday, yeah!  My husband rocks (he got it all set up for me between dinner last night and bedtime)!

It's A Secret

Promise you won't tell, it's a secret!

This time tomorrow my family and I will be happily driving down 95S toward South Carolina.  Yes, by the time my sister wakes up on Saturday we will be very close to her.  I can't wait.  The kids are so excited that they get to spend a week with Lola, Zayda, and Aunt Rene that they are still awake.  They'll have plenty of time to sleep tomorrow in the car. 

Rene doesn't know yet, and I'm not sure when I'll tell her.  I thought about calling her from the parking lot of ANMED on Saturday and asking if the kids are allowed up to her room and then just hanging up.  What do you think?

Rene sounded good today.  They are running some more tests in the hopes that they can figure out how to best treat her.  She's an anomaly.  So, maybe she'll get to go home Saturday if all goes well.  Pray that Rene will be able to go home soon, and be comfortable there.  Please pray that I'll be able to bring her back to MD with me next Friday.  Last but not least, pray that we travel safely to SC.

Love you all,
Pamela

P.S.-If you respond to this blog keep in my mind that Rene is alerted on her cell when she recieves a comment and she can read the comments via her cell phone.  Please don't ruin the surprise.  I'll let you know when I tell her.

"Hi"

I talked to Rene last night just before she fell asleep.  She said,  "If you post an entry in my journal make sure you tell everyone I said 'hi'."  So, Rene said "hi." 

Say a little prayer that Rene will be able to come home today.  As you can imagine she's ready to get out of there.  Yesterday, the highlight of her day was the bagel that my dad brought her.  I think she mentioned it to me 3 times.  It's good to be grateful for simple things.

The meds that Rene is taking don't seem to be doing their job so the plan is to try some new ones.  Hopefully that will happen today.  I'll keep you posted as I know more.

I'll have to steal my sisters cell phone message for my closing, "Don't forget to count your blessings."  Life is temporary, but a wonderful gift.  I pray today (and everyday) you'll treat it that way.

Talk to you later.
Love,
Pamela

Good Morning

Good Morning!

I apologize for not getting to you last night.  We had a late evening, and I'm having some computer issues.  Most of my entries will probably be brief.  I have one computer that is so old  and slow that I have to sit in front of it for hours just to get a few lines typed.  This computer that I'm on now freezes whenever it wants and then I lose what I'm working on, have to wait a while, and then reboot.  Usually it's good for a few minutes, although that was not the case last night.  I didn't even get to say good night to my sister.

Well, it looks like we're in for a lot of ups and downs.  Remember, during the times when things are good, be thankful, don't take time for granted, you never know how long it will last, so rejoice!  On the difficult days, look to our fond memories to inspire you, to give you hope.  To give you strength.  I love a strong and faithful God who is giving me what I need just for this.  It'll be hard, but be strong, I'm holding you, I promise.

I'm afraid what we had hoped would be a quick fix is here to stay.  I think the medical term is still Cardio Myopathy, but at this point, because of Rene's detiorating health, there's little that can be done.  Join with me and pray her for her comfort.  Pray that her doctors will show wisdom and kindness in their care for her.  Just pray for Rene.  She can feel you doing it.

Enough for now.  Have a blessed day!

I love you all,
Pamela

It's Me Again

I'm back.  Hopefully this time my journal contributions will be brief.  But you know, I'll do this as long as Rene asks.  Well, Rene has been admitted to the hospital.  She is suffering from Cardio Myotpathy, which basically means a swollen heart.  In fact, the doctor said her heart is almost as bid as a basketball.  Wow!  When Rene does something, she does is right!  This is what has been causing her labored breathing.  So now, she's on meds to help reduce the size of her heart and to reduce the amount of fluid in her heart and lungs.  This should hopefully be a quick fix.  PRAY! PRAY PRAY!

Note, Rene is sharing a room with someone else.  So, if Ms. Lou answers the phone, be polite, introduce yourself , and then ask for Irene.  Here's the number: 864-512-2216.  I'm headed to bed.  I'll write more later.

Sweet dreams, good night,
Pamela

The Days Of My Life

I sure do LOVE my Girl Scouts!!!  We had such a GREAT day!  It was a less formal meeting then what the girls and Julie and I are used to.  Ohhhhh but what a blast!  Who knew the girls enjoyed music and dancing so much!  Look at the pictures!  Notice the pictures around the table where the girls have their arms up over their heads??!!  They are jammin' to YMCA!  WE made friendship bracelets, smores, decorated flower pots, designed stationary, and laughed ALOT!!  I live for these moments!

After the girlies left, I stayed at Julie's house to hang out and catch up.  I never told y'all how I met Julie...but it was "meant to be".  Julie is a Stampin' Up http://www.stampinup.com/  deomonstrator.  For those of you that have no idea what Stampin' Up is, I included the link so you can check it out.  Anyway, when I moved here I waslooking for a Stampin' Up person to buy products from.  I went to the site, typed in my zip code and wrote down the first three names and email addresses it gave me.  I never got a response back from the first two people.  The third person, was Julie. YEAH!!  She dropped my "stuff" off at the house.  I thought she was extremely kind.  WOW!  Little did I know, she was not only kind...but generous, caring, fun, and fabulous.  Her family too.  I have been blessed by her friendship.  So, when I say I really have only one friend here in South Carolina...don't feel bad for me.  She's amazing.  (Even though dinner made me sick tonight!!!!!!!!!!!  Just Joking !!  Just Joking!!)  That was an inside joke!!

I feel ok.  The coughing is here to stay unfortunately...and dang it, so is the cancer.  :)  I always have to get one joke in about my cancer!  C'mon!!!!

Days like today....make it much easier to live in the moment!

Good Night Y'all.  I love you!

 

PS ~ FC and Tom ~ Have a blast!!!!!!!!  I want ONE postcard!!!  Got it?!!!!!!

 

*** Prayers for a safe and relaxing flight for FC (that's my cousin Rachel if y'all were wondering!) and Tom.  They are traveling to Europe tomorrow!!   

*** Please say prayers for My Aunt Gloria and our family, Nathan (he just had a bone marrow biopsy), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Ms Pammy, Lenore, Trish, and David Carey. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is inIraq, fighting the war.

*** Please keep Heather, Baby Izzy (in her tummy) and Charles in your prayers.

*** Please pray that MaryNell will have the guidance from God that she needs. 

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

 

I Wonder...

* if cough syrup will stop this cough.  :)

* why there is a "device" to keep my heart beating...

* a filter that can be put into my leg to keep the clots from getting into my lungs...

* but no "solution" to keep my little cancer cells from multiplying.

* if people know that the word "hero" by definition includes the following...: a large sandwich on a long split roll with any of a variety of fillings (as meatballs or cold cuts, cheese, lettuce, and tomato) -- called also grinder, hero, hoagie, Italian sandwich, poor boy, sub, torpedo

* if people realize, I am not really a "hero".  Sandwich or otherwise!!

* why my inspiration to write always comes when I don't have paper or pen and I'm not sitting in front of my computer!!!

* why I fall asleep every time my Father drives.

* how my doggie knows when I don't feel so well.

* why when I'm exhausted...I can come home and do a million things but then I cannot fall asleep when I climb into bed!

* why I can down 15 shots but I can barely stand after three margaritas!

* why blueberries don't taste good to my anymore.

* if  "my Prince charming" knows I am still waiting for my glass slipper!!

* if I'm predictable. ( don't answer that!!)

* why I'm not tucking into bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  :)

 

 

                     All my love y'all.

 

*** Please say prayers for My Aunt Gloria and our family, Nathan (he just had a bone marrow biopsy), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Ms Pammy, Lenore, Trish, and David Carey. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is inIraq, fighting the war.

*** Please keep Heather, Baby Izzy (in her tummy) and Charles in your prayers.

*** Please pray that MaryNell will have the guidance from God that she needs. 

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

 

Short On Words Tonight

I had a doctor's appointment today.  I'm not breathing well.  I thought I had clots again.  Turns out, it's the cancer progressing in my lungs. 

I'm going to try to lay down, and finish watching Idol. 

I sure hope there is ice cream in heaven...

I love y'all.

A Little Old Man

There's something about the unknown that scares many people.  Something about not having control over all aspects of life and the future that is maddening. Death is terrifying, and living in the moment just isn't a concept that can be understood.

I went to school in Israel for about three months when I was 17.  I don't remember being fearful of living there or of flying.  Quite the opposite.  I was extremely excited to leave!! It took a couple of weeks to settle in, and get over the initial home sickness...but I got comfortable quickly and truly felt like I was "living the life" in Israel.

As I met people on my "travels", both from Israel and Lebanon something confused me.  Most of them were happy go lucky.  Joyful, smiles and laughter. Telling stories and sharing memories. There wasn't one Friday evening where I didn't see the sidewalks, porches, balconies with people SIMPLY enjoying company, food, drinks, the air. But...how could that be??  All the "fighting" there. Armed men, military tanks driving by, sirens crying in the distance after the sound of bombs.  That didn't make any sense to me.  Even we (the students) when traveling in groups had to be escorted by armed guards.  I thought to myself more then a few times....what was there to be "sooooooo happy" about?!!!!!!! An elderly man who had already buried his three sons, explained it to me.  He told me that he lived in a world of uncertainty.  "A place of war", he called it...where he never knew or could anticipate a quiet moment or the streets filled with fire.  He told me that he lived life with zest. He rejoiced in the moments with thankfulness...because he knew he wasn't promised tomorrow.  That overwhelmed me.  It overwhelmed me at the very second the words came from his mouth.  It overwhelmed me and made me cry hours later when I got back to my dorm and told my room mates.  Here's the ironic part of the story though.  I didn't take that lesson with me.  I heard it. I didn't grasp it.

It wasn't until I "stood in his shoes" facing my life that I realized everything can change in the blink of an eye. I finally understood what that little old man was trying to convey to me.  Live each day to the fullest.  Today is all we have.

I came home from Israel talking about how differently "those people live".  I really never thought I would "get it" or be able to explain "it" to others. 

I no longer fear death or what is behind that closed door. I remind myself what truly matters and  I do my best to take the moments as they come. I don't regret any experience or tear I have cried to get to this point in my life.  I am abundantly blessed, and have been given the opportunity to share and teach my life lessons to you.

 

                            All my love y'all.

 

*** Please say prayers for My Aunt Gloria and our family, Nathan (he just had a bone marrow biopsy), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Ms Pammy, Lenore, Trish, and David Carey. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is inIraq, fighting the war.

*** Please keep Heather, Baby Izzy (in her tummy) and Charles in your prayers.

*** Please pray that MaryNell will have the guidance from God that she needs. 

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

 

Happy Mother's Day

Wishing all Mother's everywhere a very special and gentle Mother's Day.

Thoughts For The Afternoon

* Often, the people in your life that are most difficult to get along with or love, actually need it the most.  Have compassion.

* Worrying is a needless emotion.  If you aren't able to change the situation, have faith and leave it in God's hands.

* Children are amazingly resilient.  Pay attention to their words and actions...they just might teach you the greatest lessons of your life.

* Tragedy has a way of teaching you those lessons too.

* Family is extremely important.

* Attitude is everything!!!!!

* As hard as it can be, you just have to let go of negativity...both in people and your own emotions.

* At the end of the day, the argument usually doesn't matter and wasn't worth the energy you put into it. 

* Don't be so quick to judge those around you.  When you are a tough critic about someone else, chances are they have a quality that is the mirror image of you.

* Being honest doesn't mean you have to be hurtful.

* Having an older sister who listens, loves, and gives unconditionally makes all the difference in the world...especially after a long day.

* Having a dog to come home to does too.

* If someone wants to help you, or reach for you...let them.

* "Pride never saved anyones life".

* Don't live your life with regret.  If you feel it, say it.  If you want to "do it", if you can "do it" don't hesitate.  This is your life...live it now!

 

A huge thank you to Leeann.  No matter what is happening in my life, your voice and OUR laughter makes me joyful and so incredibly thankful for friendship.  I love you Girlie!!!

Thank you to Nathan...a little guy I've never even met, yet he continues to inspire me and remind me again, and again, and again....cancer does not define who I am.  He is the true definition of a "fighter".

 

           26 Days Until My 35th Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

 

* One of my final thoughts for the afternoon. My parents went to a Dale Earnhardt event last night.  I believe this officially makes them ummmm....REDNECKS!!

 

*** Please say prayers for My Aunt Gloria, Nathan (he just had a bone marrow biopsy), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Ms Pammy, Lenore, Trish, and David Carey. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is in Iraq, fighting the war.

*** Please keep Heather, Baby Izzy (in her tummy) and Charles in your prayers.

*** Please pray that MaryNell will have the guidance from God that she needs. 

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

 

 

 

Not So Defeated

The balance in having such a great day yesterday...is that today wasn't so great.  In fact, if I had written this five hours ago I would be telling you I feel defeated.

Apparently, there are some issues at my job about me being in the hospital and having subsequent doctor appointments while still being in my "probationary period". There are also issues (at my job) with the protocol I didn't follow correctly, while I was hospitalized. I'm not going to go into all the details.  However, I will tell you I had to sign a piece of paper and if I didn't...I wouldn't still be employed.

Ya know, I don't play victim.  I don't use my "cancer cards".  I am not defined by ANY of my diseases.  So, when someone tries to play upon "it"...or is insensitive...or just down right mean.  I feel hurt.  I feel sad. I feel defeated.

I've come such a long way on this journey.  I am a fighter.  I promise you, I am not about to let someone get the best of me.  Enough said.

 

           29 Days Until My 35th Birthday!!!!!!!!!!

 

Hey MN - a little birdie told me to acknowledge the fact that you comment in my journal when I write...BUT not when your BEST FRIEND does.  What's up with that???  xoxoxoxox

 

Good Night.  I love y'all.

 

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He was deployed and is now in Iraq.

*** Please keep Nathan (he just had a bone marrow biopsy), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Ms Pammy, Lenore, Trish, and David Carey in your prayers. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please keep Heather, Baby Izzy (in her tummy) and Charles in your prayers.

*** Please say prayers for my Aunt Gloria.

*** Please pray that MaryNell will have the guidance from God that she needs. 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

 

Such A Great Day

Did you look up at the sky today??  Oh my goodness, it's bright and this  beautiful brilliant blue (say that three times fast!!). The clouds look as though you could reach out and grab them!!  Fluffy and white, like marshmallows!!!!!!!!!! 

Barbi left a pair of her shoes here. They are sitting just in front of my bed where she kicked them off.  It made me chuckle when I saw them.  I thought perhaps subconsciously, she left them behind thinking I may need to strap them on with "my boots".  After all, she knows too well that sometimes I've just had enough and I need some more strength!  However, I realized that wasn't the case when I called her and told her the shoes were here!!!  Ha ha!!  She was not a happy camper.  Off they go in the mail tomorrow!

I feel GREAT today.  Not even a little tired, and my foot isn't bothering me at all (knock on wood).  My sugar has been good, except this morning.  I think that's because I ate a little too much sugar free candy. I know, it says sugar free....which it is.  BUT, it contains something else they call "alcohol sugar" that "may raise blood sugar levels".  MAY??!!  Ohhh helllllloooooooooo, it did.  I'll have to take it easy on the sugar free stuff.

I'm still coughing alot.  I hate it.

I have laundry to catch up and some cards to stamp.  Don't forget to watch Idol tonight!!!!!!!!!!

I love y'all tons!!!!!!!

P.S. ~ Mark your calendars....it's the 30 day countdown to my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 

I'm a little wounded,
but I am not slain;
I will lay me down to bleed a while.
Then I'll rise and fight again.
~John Dryden, (1631-1700)
English poet, literary critic, dramatist~

 

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He was deployed and is now in Iraq.

*** Please say prayers for Bob Browning and his family. He has also been deployed, and will be leaving the end of May.

*** Please keep Nathan (he just had a bone marrow biopsy), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Ms Pammy, Lenore, Trish, and David Carey in your prayers. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please keep Heather, Baby Izzy (in her tummy) and Charles in your prayers.

*** Please say prayers for my Aunt Gloria. 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

 

Here's What Has Been Happening...In My Neck Of The Woods

* I've been waking up to text messages from Barb that say "Wakey...wakey..." With pictures following, of a smiley face, cup of coffee, and donut.

* Barb and I met the Coroner for Anderson County.  He was getting a huge tattoo on his back.  It was the Grim Reaper.

* Barb got a new tattoo on her wrist.  I plead the 5th.

* We had our eyebrows waxed.  I am certain half of my skin went with it.

* We shopped MANY places and spent lots of money.

* We witnessed over crowded lines at the Wal Mart registers, as if it was Christmas Eve!!

* We celebrated Cinco de Mayo...having margaritas in fish bowls you could practically swim in.  We had food too...I think.  Ha ha!

* We enjoyed Comedy Central with Mom and Dad.

* We learned some about Diabetes.

* We watched the rain fall and fall and fall.

* We changed clothes quickly and jumped on the boat with Mom and Dad when it finally stopped!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* We took pictures of ourselves.

* And each other.

* We did some head banging to Bohemian Rhapsody.

* We discovered sugar free candy, and bought more than the Candy Man could deliver!!!!!!

* We ate lots of delicious food and especially a divine dessert tonight!!!!

* We reminisced with stories from "back in the day".

* We laughed ALOT.

* Pondered about the future a little.

* Lived in the moment best we could!!!!!!!!! 

 

 

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He was deployed and is now in Iraq.

*** Please say prayers for Bob Browning and his family. He has also been deployed, and will be leaving the end of May.

*** Please keep Nathan (he just had a bone marrow biopsy), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Ms Pammy, Lenore, Trish, and David Carey in your prayers. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please keep Heather, Baby Izzy (in her tummy) and Charles in your prayers.

*** Please say prayers for my Aunt Gloria. 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

 

 

 

Friendship and Hugs

I'm certain I'm running on fumes!  I am thankful it is Friday!

Barbi FINALLY made it here yesterday after a ten hour drive.  She said to tell y'all it was a ten hour drive, after pulling over to nap a little (Yeah, right!!!).  She also drove into some serious rain.  Needless to say, she was Ms Grumpy Pants when she got here.  BUT, she's here and I am thrilled!!!!!!  She is too!!!!

I had a great Girl Scout meeting yesterday.  The girls gave me many hugs and I kept hearing "you're back!!!!".  Let me tell you, if you ever need a "pick me up"...hug a child.  It does wonders!!!!!!!!!

I still have this nasty cough and I think the Gout is going to do me in. Ha! ha! I cannot even begin to explain how painful it is, even though I am on medication for it. My tummy is also queasy.  I think it is from the Cumidin though.  I remember feeling the same exact way, the last time I was taking it.  OTHERWISE, I'm just fabulous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Barb and I have a Saturday full of "things to do".  I keep saying to her "I can't believe you are here".  I really don't want her to leave!!!!!!!

Time to tuck in.  I love y'all very much!

 

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He was deployed and is now in Iraq.

*** Please say prayers for Bob Browning and his family. He has also been deployed, and will be leaving the end of May.

*** Please keep Nathan (he just had a bone marrow biopsy), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Ms Pammy, Lenore, Trish, and David Carey in your prayers. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please keep Heather, Baby Izzy (in her tummy) and Charles in your prayers.

*** Please say prayers for my Aunt Gloria. 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

 

What CAN I eat??

I'm pooped!  Extremely happy to be back to work and grateful that I can work and walk and breathe....BUT I am exhausted!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday, I received an ideal menu and diet plan "for the gout patient" from the hospital's nutritionist.  It is suppose to eliminate the uric acid in my body.  Before I was released from the hospital, I received a big booklet for the "diabetic patient".  It has pages and pages of what I can eat and shouldn't eat.  Way before this hospital stay, I was meeting with a nutritionist named Rain that my oncologist referred me to.  Her idea of what is best for me and my body, is completely different than what the other two menus say.  For that matter, the diabetic menu and gout menu don't mesh so well either!!!  So, I've decided when I see Dr. Rhynes on Friday, I'm simply going to ask....WHAT CAN I EAT?????????????  This is getting a little confusing!!

My blood sugar has been ok.  For that I am thankful, because I don't really want to give myself insulin injections, EVER.  For now, the pill I am taking to help control the diabetes is enough for me!!!!  Speaking of pills, I now take ten different medications.  I am certain that's more medicine than my grandmother was taking when she was 90!!  And y'all wonder what's REALLY keeping me alive!!  It's the DRUGS!!!!!!!!!!  Ha! Ha!

So, how about American Idol??  You know you watch it...stop denying it.  I'm proud to say I am an Idol junkie and so is my Mother.  She thinks Melinda is going to be the next Idol.  I'm leaning towards Jordan.  Either way, the ladies ROCK!!!!!!!!

By this time tomorrow, Barb will be here.  You have no idea just how excited I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I also get to see MY girl scouts tomorrow.  We have a meeting at Julie's house at 6:30 pm.  It's going to be a FABULOUS day.  Of course, everyday I wake up is fabulous.  Ya know what I mean??!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm off to bed.  I love y'all TONS!!

 

PS ~ HAPPY BELATED ANNIVERSARY LEEANN!!!

 

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He was deployed and is now in Iraq.

*** Please say prayers for Bob Browning and his family. He has also been deployed, and will be leaving the end of May.

*** Please keep Nathan, Ms Bobby, Ms Pammy, Lenore, Trish, and David Carey in your prayers. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please keep Heather, Baby Izzy (in her tummy) and Charles in your prayers.

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!