When The Warrior Is Weak Who Will Hold His Hand?

Some of you didn't know me when I was going through chemotherapy.  I'd like to think I took the treatment like a champ.  Maybe I did.  Maybe I didn't.  There are bits and pieces of that part of my life I remember.  Oddly, most of them I don't.

I do recall some days after I had my "cocktail", I would lay in bed bundled underneath comforters.  Mom would come over and wash dishes and finish my laundry. In between sleep and potty calls, I could hear children outside laughing and playing and traffic buzzing by, dogs barking and life happening.  It was terrible.  It was terrible to "hear" life, especially because I felt like mine was being sucked away.

It shouldn't surprise you that not long after that round of chemo, when still more chemo was being advised. I decided to quit having the ports jammed in my arms...forever.  I was done.  I wanted the quality of my life back.

So, here I am...and now you know the story.  Many ask if I regret my decision.  I don't.  Not at all.

Now, however I feel like I am at a similar crossroad.  The bad days are becoming more frequent, and the pain killers aren't cutting it.  So, what do I do??  Lord knows, living like "this" is certainly affecting the quality of my life.  But perhaps, this is what the cancer is going to do with me.  I'm not feeling up for dancing the tango.  I'm not about to give up either.

So, let me answer the question for you.  When the warrior is weak who will hold his hand??  I'm asking that each of you will.  In fact, I will hold my hand out to you, if you promise to reach back and squeeze it tightly. With no words spoken at all.

I love y'all so very much!

Thank you Julie. Your words inspired me, obviously!!  You're an incredible friend. 

 

*** Please say prayers for My Aunt Gloria and our family, Nathan (He's Home!!!), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Mr. Russo, Ms Pammy (recovering from surgery.), Lenore, Trish, David Carey, Sugar and Jeannette. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is in Iraq, fighting the war.

 

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!