My Boots Are Still On

I'm looking down at my boots.  They have been on for quite some time now.  They are a bit tattered and torn.  I'm sure some might say, they have seen better days.  I noticed one of the laces is missing.  The other, can barely be tied into a bow.  My boots.  They have carried me to crossroads and back to mountains I never thought I could climb. The soles show scars of my survival.  My boots. 

For those of you that don't "get " the above. I wrote My Boots (read down below) a few years ago...and this simply continues it.                            

                                            My Boots

I knew they were in the back of my closet somewhere. I'm not sure why I kept them. I really never did put them to good use. Rummaging through my closet I realized I must have known somewhere in my subconscious mind I would actually need them one day. So, I tossed aside my red pumps and black loafers...and smiled when I saw one of my hiking boots underneath the piled mess.

I talked to myself while I was fumbling with the laces. I said, "OK self its time to put the boots on. You have quite a hill in front of you...and it does not matter what they have told you...YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN WALK RIGHT THROUGH THIS." And a few tears ran down my cheeks because sometimes even the best boots can't help you over the hardest obstacles.

My boots are on now and they are planted firmly to the ground. It does not matter to me what the test results are or the "statistics." I've heard all the medical advice and what I should do while I'm "biding" my time. I am who I am and I have to believe my spirit and my attitude will "heal" me more than anything I have to pick up from a pharmacy or any needle that is delivering "medicine" through my arm.

Occasionally you may hear I've stopped climbing to brush the dirt off of my knees. You may even see me sitting right beneath the top of the hill sobbing. But certainly none of that will make a difference when you see me standing at the top of the hill celebrating my life full of miracles.

 

I cried when I was trying to fall asleep last night.  I am grateful to be alive.  I am grateful to be at home.

I do not know where to begin with my thank you's.

Pamela ~ I know this sounds cheesey and like a cliche BUT I cannot find the words otherwise.  You are the wind beneath my wings. You are my strength, at my weakest moments.  You are gentle, when I feel the world is being cruel.  You make me laugh, you dry my tears, you restore my faith, and you are my words, when I cannot write them!!  Thank you, My Sister.  I love you and appreciate you more than you will ever know.

Mom ~ Dad was right when he called you an angel.  Your patience with me is unbelievable.  You anticipate all my needs...and you rub all the right places when I am in pain.  I couldn't have asked to be blessed with a better mother. I love you so very much and more than I could ever convey.

Daddy ~ Just seeing your face makes me feel better.  You make me laugh, at moments where I just want to break down.  You have no idea the strength you give to me by your prescence.  Thank you.  I love you very much.

To All My Friends And Family ~ WOW!!  Prayers really do work!  Thank you is such an understatement for all that you give to me.  I am blessed by each of you. My life is richer because of all of you.

To "My" Girl Scouts ~ You lifted my spirits on a day I couldn't even begin to find a smile.  Thank you for that.  Thank you so very much for that!  I miss you girls and cannot wait to see you!!

 

I'm not going back to work tomorrow. I'll be seeing Dr. Rhynes.  She was my admitting doctor in the hospital.  She is going to be my Primary Care Doctor since I don't have one.  She'll do all my follow up care and my blood work since I remain on blood thinners for the clots.

I'm coughing quite a bit.  I don't know if that goes along with the clots in my lungs or the cancer!!  Otherwise, I feel tired.  My left foot hurts, more than the right.  Thank God it is only Gout.  Ha! Ha!  Y'all know what I mean.  I was extremely fearful it was cancer in my bones!  So, I'm not complaining!

I have some laundry to put away and then I want to tuck in.  Did I mention how blessed I am and how much I love each and every one of you?!!!!!  Thank you, for continuing on this journey with me.

 

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He was deployed and is now in Iraq.

*** Please say prayers for Bob Browning and his family. He has also been deployed, and will be leaving the end of May.

*** Please keep Nathan, Ms Bobby, Ms Pammy, Lenore, Trish, and David Carey in your prayers. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!