you try BUT you can't seem to forget you have the " C word". You want to continue to look everyone in the eyes brave and strong. However, at this moment you couldn't even "fake it". So, you feel sad, even bitter...wondering for maybe the 100th time, why me...and especially why now. Then you lay your head on the pillow and try to sleep, with no such luck. The thoughts are too much. Your eyes stay open and you notice the clock. It says 3:18 am. You think to yourself...I need to fall asleep but you know you can't and for the moment won't. You think of people you haven't spoken to and maybe should and all those who love you dearly while grabbing tissues curious to how many it will take to wipe all the tears and the runny nose. You want to ask God questions and maybe for a little mercy, when you actually know quite well all the answers you need are some where behind the words you've just written. So, you stop crying. You finish typing your words, knowing all you endure is for a reason and then you continue sharing your inspiration to walk forward and in the moment.
I love y'all. Good night...ummmm morning.
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8 comments:
May God continue to be with you and give you strength and courage and take away your paim. Hugs, Helen
Irene, you don't always "have to be brave". And sometimes being brave is knowing that you don't have all the answers, but you are willing to go on, and fight anyway, in the face of being afraid. Or at least be true to yourself knowing you tried. And knowing you were true to your faith in the Lord, and your walk with Him. And that you gave your all trying to kick cancer in the face. And you just may kick cancer out of your life, my Dear Irene.
Yes, all you endure IS for a reason. To know the Lord is to know just that. You may not know the reason why you are enduring it until you go be with Him. Don't count on that time being so soon! Good morning, Irene! Stay well and chin up! Love you, girl,
Krissy :)
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink
This post brought tears to my eyes. Praying for you and you are a very strong woman.
((((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU)))))))))))))))I dont understand alot of things about life,but just know that you have alot of people wo love and care for you.Have a nice dya
It's hard, very hard. Just remember we go through all our trails for a reason, altho not known to us.
Sending up prayers for you.
Your fellow warrior.
Sugar
Oh Irene... this damn near broke my heart! You are such an inspiration, such a warrior! I hope God does give you the mercy so many are praying for... and give you more time. Maybe you will be the miracle lady living with 'c' for quite some time, because He needs you here to spread your love and wisdom.
Praying for you... as always.
be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/
Dearest Irene, I'm one of your 'lurkers' of late. I just want you to know how very strong I think you are, even when you think you are weak. I will be praying for you often. May the Lord's blessings keep you strong in battle. In Jesus, Penny http://journals.aol.com/firestormkids04/FromHeretoThere http://journals.aol.com/firestormkids04/TimeforaLittlePoetry
LOVE YOU FC!!! Cancer schmancer, you're still my FC.
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