Memorial

Friends,

You have humbled and amazed me and my family with all your comments.  There are no words to express the gratitude we feel for all your well wishes and prayers. Thank you. 

My mom asked me to write.  She wanted you all to know that Rene had a beautiful memorial.  Yesterday was a difficult day, but we had a wonderful tribute to my sister.  The room was filled with people who laughed and cried as we remembered  her. 

Rene touched so many lives.  I pray for each one of you that through my sister's life and death you have had a life altering experience.  Don't take anything for granted.  Life is precious and short.  Love the good times and learn from the bad.  Be a blessing to those around you and you will feel blessed.

May you always feel the love of God.  He has a perfect plan for us all.

With much love and gratitude,
Pamela

The Breakfast Table

Just under an hour ago my dear sister got her angel wings.  She is sitting at the breakfast table knowing we will be there shortly.  Our time here is so temporary.  Please pray for our family.

Be blessed,
Pamela

Rene

It's me, Pamela.  Please lift my sister up in prayer.  Rene was admitted to the hospital today.  She was suffering from horrific headaches and vomiting and taken to the hospital in an ambulance.  She is bleeding into her brain.  Rene is on morphine and heavily sedated.  She is physically feeling very little.  Her pulse is strong, her blood pressure is high, and she is breathing on her own.  My parents are by her side.  At this point it seems that medically there is nothing that can be done.   PRAY, PRAY, PRAY.  I know God is capable of miracles.

Be blessed,
Pamela

Hello!

My sister is fabulous, isn't she?

OK--here's the deal. I'm at home. (There's alot to be said for begging your doctor not to keep you!!) No results on the scans yet.  The way I figure, no news is good news.  As you know, PT/INR is 7.4.  I'm on house arrest until further notice.  No driving, no running around.

Thank you for all the prayers and comments.  As soon as the doc calls, I'll let you know what's going on!

I sure do love y'all!  Good night.

Update on Rene

Hello everyone! For those of you who don't know me, I'm Pamela, Rene's sister.  For those of you who do know me, don't worry!!

Rene knew you would all be wondering what was happening, so she asked me to do a quick post.

Rene's appointment was moved up to 2:45PM.  She's still there. Her PT/INR is 7.4.  The PT/INR is a measure of her blood clotting time.  Average time varies, but is around 2.5-3.5.  The higher the number, the slower your clotting ability.  Needless to say, with a number like 7.4 it's best to stay close to the hospital.  Please keep in mind, I have no medical training, I'm just doing my best to explain it the way I understand.

The docs are also doing scans of Rene's liver and gall bladder.  They haven't decided yet if they are admitting her.  I'll let you know when I hear something.

For now, please pray that the docs make good, informed decisions about how to proceed.  Pray for Rene and her acceptance of the "doctor's orders."  Mostly, pray for her healing and for her to feel the presence of our loving and  comforting God.

More later,
Pamela

Oh Fudge!

My blood is still way too thin and the doctors don't know why.  My appointment tomorrow is at 4:00pm.  If there is no improvement...I'm getting admitted to the hospital.  

FUDGE---I hate when that happens!  

 

Please say prayers for: Dawn Brown*Sherry and family*Chris Read *Nathan *Cassie and family*Ms Dawn *Cathy's dad, Bill and her mom, Pam*Lisa and her family *Ms Bobby * Mr. Russo*Ms Pammy *Cindy*Tammy*Momma Joyce*MsMargie*Krissy's husband,John*Trish*Sugar*Mr. Carey and his wife, Irene*Jay Carey and his family.*Frances and her son, Matthew. 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entryon 11-15-06 to read about the title, MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

 

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It's All Good

Thank you for all the heart warming,  supportive comments (and compliments)!  I am blessed and so very grateful for the inspiration to write.

I met Joey Lee today.  She's a nurse that educates cancer patients on the fun of radiation.  :)  I learned more then I knew, and was even able to come home and explain everything to Mom and Dad. 

My PT/INR is 6.  Houston, we have a problem.  Funny thing is, they don't know what it is!!  Seems to be my heart is having issues again.  I'm still off of the Coumadin.  I get to see Ms Val tomorrow for blood work again--Wednesday, my oncologist and cardiologist.  You should see all the places they stuck me with needles . Ahhhh the beauty of bruises!

I spoke with a friend who I met years ago at a wedding.  It seemed too long since we talked and even hours after we were catching up, there was still more to say.  Priceless. 

I'm 35 years old and live with my parents.  I have cancer, diabetes and a heart condition the doctors still can't figure out.  I have a sister who has never given up on me, friends that continually support me and great faith in God that didn't exist until I "got sick".  Look at me any way you choose to. No matter what you say, I promise you life is oh so good.

 I love y'all.  Thank you for taking this journey with me.  Good Night.

 

Please say prayers for: Dawn Brown*Sherry and family*Chris Read *Nathan *Cassie and family*Ms Dawn *Cathy's dad, Bill and her mom, Pam*Lisa and her family *Ms Bobby * Mr. Russo*Ms Pammy *Cindy*Tammy*Momma Joyce*MsMargie*Krissy's husband,John*Trish*Sugar*Mr. Carey and his wife, Irene*Jay Carey and his family.*Frances and her son, Matthew. 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entryon 11-15-06 to read about the title, MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

 

Lots To Say

There are times when you give up.  When you feel like you've had enough and don't think you can go on.  There are moments when you're positive it doesn't get worse, that no one else has ever felt this way and that it happens to only you.  You wonder what if life were different, if you did something to deserve what is going on and if something brilliant could change it all now.  Then there are moments you remember pride never saved a life, crying often releases the sadness and it could actually be far worse than it is.  You begin to let the sun in again and realize what is actually important and there truly is a reason for your life, as it is and who you have become.

Today, I am grateful for my parents who when I was growing up, didn't think Jordache jeans were a necessity.  I'm grateful for a sister who was so concerned about my health she was afraid to tell me my outfit didn't match (we were in grade school).  I am grateful for a grandmother who lived to be 98 and died knowing how loved she was, but it was time for her to go "home".  I am grateful for a love that came around a second time--giving me a chance for something I never imagined could ever be so perfect. I am grateful for friendships that remain patient and supportive--who understand even the moments when I am impossible. I am grateful for a tiny life that lasted nine months, that taught me things can change in an instant.  I am grateful for my cancer, as it is a constant reminder miracles exist, statistics don't mean everything and attitude is more then half the battle.

A good friend of mine sent me this link. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8577255250907450469  The video is about 12 minutes.  It's heart warming and heart breaking in a sense.  Grab some tissues and watch it and then make sure you pass it on.

I'm not perfect.  I don't always get "it"...the first time, second or even third.  I try, but I am still learning and I don't regret that one bit!

  

Before I tuck in--MN and Pamela, we did have heart shaped hamburgers!!!!!!!!!!!

I love y'all.  Count your blessings.  Good Night.

 

Please say prayers for: Dawn Brown*Sherry and family*Chris Read *Nathan *Cassie and family*Ms Dawn *Cathy's dad, Bill and her mom, Pam*Lisa and her family *Ms Bobby * Mr. Russo*Ms Pammy *Cindy*Tammy*Momma Joyce*MsMargie*Krissy's husband,John*Trish*Sugar*Mr. Carey and his wife, Irene*Jay Carey and his family.*Frances and her son, Matthew. 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entryon 11-15-06 to read about the title, MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

 

Happy Valentine's Day

             

Happy Valentine's Day!  Aren't my flowers beautiful??  Dad always gives me my favorite, Gerber daisies!

I'm still not feeling great and I'm not keeping any food down.

I hope today was a joyful day.  I'll write more tomorrow. 

Love and blessings to y'all.

Blue

From 10:00 am to about 3:30 pm I drove back and forth between blood work, my oncologist and cardiologist.  When I came back home I napped for a little while.  Mom called me for dinner around 7:00 pm. I woke with a brutal headache and after eating yummy enchiladas my tummy decided it really wasn't all that tasty.  I'm drinking my tea.  I've taken all the meds I can.  I know it could be far worse, but I'm not too happy and feeling a little blue.

                     

Sorry it's short.  I'm about through with today.  I love y'all.

Happy Birthday Michelle!  I miss and love you!!!!!!!!

Please say prayers for Mary Nell and family and for my Michelle too.

Please say prayers for: Dawn Brown*Sherry and family*Chris Read *Nathan *Cassie and family*Ms Dawn *Cathy's dad, Bill and her mom, Pam*Lisa and her family *Ms Bobby * Mr. Russo*Ms Pammy *Cindy*Tammy*Momma Joyce*MsMargie*Krissy's husband,John*Trish*Sugar*Mr. Carey and his wife, Irene*Jay Carey and his family.*Frances and her son, Matthew. 

If this is your first time readingmy journal, PLEASE go back to my first entryon 11-15-06 to read about the title, MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

Now

You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can decide how you're going to live--now.

            Joan Baez

Laughter Is The Best Medicine

                  

*This Story Is Copied from The Cancer Crusade

Lighten up, people! This is for all those who think it's somehow unseemly, even downright inappropriate to laugh with those of us who have cancer.

My husband was helping me up the driveway to our house after a miserable day at the hospital that had started at 4:30 that morning. Our two teenaged sons ran out to meet us and to help.

As the three of them fussed over me, I stopped in my tracks, waved a hand in the air and said,
"I think I'm going to be sick."

Instantly, I felt three strong pairs of hands on my arms and shoulders, supporting me, holding me, guiding me to the side of the driveway. As sick as I was, the thought crossed my mind that, in spite of everything I was going through on this journey called cancer, I was the luckiest woman alive to have these three caring, compassionate men to love and support me
through it all.

As their hands continued to turn me toward the flower bed, my younger son said gently,
"Not on my Mustang, Mom."

Take it from me, it is possible to throw up and laugh at the same time. It's not pretty, but it's possible.

Just a little reminder that there is beauty even in life's least beautiful moments, tenderness in the toughest of times, and humor even in illness. We just have to look for these little blessings, make ourselves open to receving them, and cherish them when we find them.

Feeling run down today and a little warm.  I have a bit of a fever. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. 

I have lots of emails to respond to and a few calls to return also.

Back to see my oncologist tomorrow.  I'm tucking in now.  I love y'all.  Thanks for reading.

Safe traveling Bob and Suzy!!

Please say prayers for: Dawn Brown*Sherry and family*Chris Read *Nathan *Cassie and family*Ms Dawn *Cathy's dad, Bill and her mom, Pam*Lisa and her family *Ms Bobby * Mr. Russo*Ms Pammy *Cindy*Tammy*Momma Joyce*MsMargie*Krissy's husband,John*Trish*Sugar*Mr. Carey and his wife, Irene*Jay Carey and his family.*Frances and her son, Matthew. 

If this is your first time readingmy journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title, MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

Poked and Prodded

                                      

I'm starting to feel like that poor little dough boy!! Poked and prodded some more today.  Results on Monday.  Blood is still too thin. PT/INR   Click here: Prothrombin time - is 5.  I'm off the Coumadin (temporarily), which scares me since I am prone to clots in my lungs. Any bleeding right now, sends me to the emergency room per the docs.  Oh joy!

Someone is setting off fireworks.  It's been going on for at least the last hour.  I'd love to know what the occassion is.  What am I thinking?? This is the South.  There probably isn't an occassion!  Ha ha.  :)

Picked up Chinese for dinner.  It was good going down.... that's all I'll say about that.

For anyone reading that has ever had radiation therapy/treatment--tell me about it, please.  Anything and everything.  You can leave it in my comments or email me directly.  alwaysireneann@aol.com

Tucking in early tonight.  I didn't sleep restfully last night.

I love y'all.

 

Please say prayers for: Dawn Brown*Sherry and family*Chris Read *Nathan *Cassie and family*Ms Dawn *Cathy's dad, Bill and her mom, Pam*Lisa and her family *Ms Bobby * Mr. Russo*Ms Pammy *Cindy*Tammy*Momma Joyce*MsMargie*Krissy's husband,John*Trish*Sugar*Mr. Carey and his wife, Irene*Jay Carey and his family.*Frances and her son, Matthew. 

If this is your first time readingmy journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title, MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

Decisions

I'm really trying to be better about phone calls.  I'm certain some of you will verify that, right???!

I saw my oncologist on Thursday.  Instead of detailing the appointment, I'll simply tell you I've decided I'm going to do radiation. There are a few issues that have to be taken care of first.  BUT, I'm ready for him to zap me.  I think.  :)

             

I'm having quite a tough time with food and pain.  It's routine now, when Mom hears me getting sick--peppermint tea and toast.  This morning I was so drugged when she finally came in with the tea, I fell asleep with the mug in my hand.  Yea, I know...not so safe or smart!

Big birthday wishes to my Dad and cousin, Marsha.  We celebrated with Dad's favorite.  Hamburgers!  For dessert?!  An ice cream cake with dark chocolate (compliments of Dove), whipped cream and cherries.  Ohhh and let me not forget, the singing candle!  Can't go wrong with that, right??

I'm tucking in now.  I love y'all.

 

Please say prayers for: Dawn Brown*Sherry and family*Chris Read *Nathan *Cassie and family*Ms Dawn *Cathy's dad, Bill and her mom, Pam*Lisa and her family *Ms Bobby * Mr. Russo*Ms Pammy *Cindy*Tammy*Momma Joyce*MsMargie*Krissy's husband,John*Trish*Sugar*Mr. Carey and his wife, Irene*Jay Carey and his family.*Frances and her son, Matthew. 

If this is your first time readingmy journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title, MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

 

Nice Matters

 

                                      

 

When I started my journal, I did so to keep my family and friends up to date on what was going in my world.  Along this journey, I've "found" friends, supporters, survivors and other journal writers. Trish is all of the above. Her journal http://journals.aol.com/gosso23/my-breast-cancer-story/  was the first I had read here in AOL land.  I immediately found comfort in her words and could relate to much of what she was saying.  So, I cannot tell you how touched I am to be nominated (by her) for the Nice Matters Award.

 

Trish your kindness and support is a blessing to me.  I appreciate you and your journal.

 

With that said, here are my picks for the Nice Matters Award. 

 

Dawn -- Carpe Diem - Seize The Day http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/ Just the name of her journal should be reason enough for reading it! Dawn continually sends me blessings and inspiration despite her own battles in life with an inoperable brain tumor, Lupus and  Rheumatoid Arthritis.

 

 

Krissy -- Sometimes I Think

http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink

Full of spirit and optimism. Krissy is generous with her words and prayers, no matter what is happening in her life. She is clearly an outstanding friend, sister and wife.  Her husband John is a cancer survivor.

 

 

Guido -- Northern Trip

http://journals.aol.co.uk/pharmolo/NorthernTrip

I'm positive he knows something about everything.  Not only that, Guido is caring and has a way of looking out for others. He ALWAYS says "it" like is.  I appreciate that in a person.

 

 

Cindy -- Cindy's Life

http://journals.aol.com/emabecmar/CindysLife/

Quoting her words "My outlook on life is better now since I've been diagnosed with cancer".  That simply says it all!

 

Indigo -- Raven's Lament

http://journals.aol.com/rdautumnsage/ravens-lament/

Eclectic. Warm. Wise. Thoughtful. Spiritual.

 

 

I sure do love y'all!

 

A Secret

If there is any secret to this life I live, this is it: the sound of what cannot be seen sings within everything that can. And there is nothing more to it than that.

Brian Andreas

No Results

                             

I'm feeling a little better today.  Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers.  PET scan and ultra sound results on Tuesday.  I'm not bothered by the waiting...I'm used to it by now!!

Not feeling much for words tonight. So, I'm tucking in.

Please say prayers for my cousin, Rachel (FC).  She's taking the LSAT tomorrow. 

Good night.

 

Please say prayers for: Dawn Brown*Sherry and family, Chris Read *Nathan *Cassie and family*Ms Dawn *Cathy's dad, Bill and her mom, Pam*Lisa and her family *Ms Bobby * Mr. Russo*Ms Pammy *Cindy*Tammy*Momma Joyce*MsMargie*Krissy's husband,John*Trish*Sugar*Mr. Carey and his wife, Irene*Jay Carey and his family.*Frances and her son, Matthew. 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title, MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!