Believe In Miracles

The new oncologist is GREAT and extremely thorough!  He started at the VERY beginning with me.  Meaning, the basics.  Blood work, scans and reviewing all the medical records so he can put all the pieces together. What he's trying to "figure out"...where the cough is coming from, why I am bleeding so much, why so much pain and why the rapid weight loss. (I'm loosing about a pound a day).  Basically, has the cancer spread!??!!!!!!!!

I will be getting Procrit injections once a week.  Procrit stimulates red blood cell count.  This will help me for two reasons:                                                                                                   

1)  The more red blood cells I have, the better the transfer of oxygen to my lungs.                                                                           

 2) It will help with the draggy, exhausted feeling.  More energy!  YEA!!

He took me off one of my heart medications.  He said that drug often causes a dry nagging cough.  So, he actually thinks the cough has NOTHING to do with the lungs!!  Another, YEA!!

Ohhhh but here's THE BEST YEA yet!!!  There has been no progression with the lung cancer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  NONE!  NONE! NONE!!  Happy dance, happy dance.  He called about an hour ago to give me that FABULOUS news!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow, I will see him again for more blood work and to go over his findings. 

  I want to give a HUGE thanks to Sugar.  Thank you for lifting me up in prayer every single day. And thank you for sending your friends my way to pray for me and share in this amazing journey.

Thank you to all my friends and family. Not just for the supportive comments in my journal BUT for all the prayers.  PLEASE, PLEASE keep them both coming!!  Did I say please????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A BIG hello to Caroline and Jacob.  I love y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxox

Stephen ~ You're doing great!!!  Thanks for coming back.  I love you more today then yesterday.

For anyone that doesn't believe in miracles....BELIEVE!! BELIEVE!!  BELIEVE!!!

I AM A WALKING MIRACLE!!!  Thank you God.  :)

I'm closing this one for now!  If you want to see me up close and personal, click on one of those pictures above!

I love y'all!

 

*** Please say prayers for My Aunt Gloria (she's back in the hospital), Nathan (They didn't "get it all".), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Mr. Russo, Ms Pammy (recovering from surgery.), Lenore, Trish, David Carey, Sugar, Cindy (She's in remission) and Jeannette. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is in Iraq, fighting the war.

 

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

 

 

Maybe More Tomorrow

Not much for words tonight, sorry.  My doctor's appointment is tomorrow.  I'll keep y'all posted.

Much Love xoxoxoxox

About Me...

                                                 

Hello.  Here's the scoop on me.  I'm not doing so well.  I haven't had this many consecutive bad days....well never.  Except when I was doing chemotherapy.  I'm feeling discouraged, sad and scared. 

I am going to try to get out of the house for a little while on Sunday.  I did sit outside on the swing for about 15 minutes tonight when I let Cassie dog out.  Fresh air felt good.

My parents went to Philly to see Aunt Gloria and family.  Keep us in your prayers please.

I am going to try to watch a movie and tuck in.

I love y'all.  I am so grateful for another day.

 

*** Please say prayers for My Aunt Gloria (she's back in the hospital), Nathan (They didn't "get it all".), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Mr. Russo, Ms Pammy (recovering from surgery.), Lenore, Trish, David Carey, Sugar and Jeannette. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is in Iraq, fighting the war.

 

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

It's All About Me

                                                     

Today my attitude was better.

Today I put some laundry away.

Today I drove myself to get a hair cut.

Today the pain didn't feel as bad.

Today I cried when I read journal comments.

Today I sat outside and felt the warmth of the sun on my face.

Today I weigh less than I have in the last four years.

Today I rubbed my Mom's back after she hit her funny bone.

Today I started looking for a plane ticket so I can go to DC again.

Today I listened to two CD's I had never listened to before.

Today I read Chicken Soup For The Surviving Souls.

Today I tried napping.

Today I said I love you to every person who called me.

Today I've made this entry all about me.

 

Sure do love y'all!

 

*** Please say prayers for My Aunt Gloria (she's home from the hospital), Nathan (They didn't "get it all".), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Mr. Russo, Ms Pammy (recovering from surgery.), Lenore, Trish, David Carey, Sugar and Jeannette. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is in Iraq, fighting the war.

 

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

 

 

The Trip - Not The Station

The Station

        by Robert J. Hastings        

Tucked away in our subconscious minds is an idyllic vision. We see ourselves on a long, long trip that almost spans the continent. We're traveling by passenger train, and out the windows we drink in the passing scene of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at a crossing, of cattle grazing on a distant hillside, of smoke pouring from a power plant, of row upon row of corn and wheat, of flatlands and valleys, of mountains and rolling hills, of biting winter and blazing summer and cavorting spring and docile fall.

But uppermost in our minds is the final destination. On a certain day at a certain hour we will pull into the station. There will be bands playing, and flags waving. And once we get there so many wonderful dreams will come true. So many wishes will be fulfilled and so many pieces of our lives finally will be neatly fitted together like a completed jigsaw puzzle. How restlessly we pace the aisles, damning the minutes for loitering ... waiting, waiting, waiting, for the station.

However, sooner or later we must realize there is no one station, no one place to arrive at once and for all. The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly outdistances us.

"When we reach the station, that will be it !" we cry. Translated it means, "When I'm 18, that will be it ! When I buy a new 450 SL Mercedes Benz, that will be it ! When I put the last kid through college, that will be it ! When I have paid off the mortgage, that will be it ! When I win a promotion, that will be it ! When I reach the age of retirement, that will be it ! I shall live happily ever after !"

Unfortunately, once we get it, then it disappears. The station somehow hides itself at the end of an endless track.

"Relish the moment" is a good motto, especially when coupled with Psalm 118:24: "This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." It isn't the burdens of today that drive men mad. Rather, it is regret over yesterday or fear of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves who would rob us of today.

So, stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, climb more mountains, eat more ice cream, go barefoot more often, swim more rivers, watch more sunsets, laugh more and cry less. Life must be lived as we go along. The station will come soon enough.

That's one of my Momma's favorites!!

I love y'all.  Thank you for the prayers and for understanding that I've been facing some rough days.  I'll be seeing the new oncologist on Monday.  For the time being...nothing has changed.  Bleeding, pain, coughing....status quo.

Ohhhh and for those of you that didn't know and can't see the smile on my face....there's a man in my life!!!!!!!!!!

 

*** Please say prayers for My Aunt Gloria (she's home from the hospital), Nathan (They didn't "get it all".), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Mr. Russo, Ms Pammy (recovering from surgery.), Lenore, Trish, David Carey, Sugar and Jeannette. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is in Iraq, fighting the war.

 

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

 

Playing Cards

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold, well. 

~ Josh Billings                    

             

For the most part, I believe I play my cards well.  Of course, there's that one card.  It's my cancer card.  Realize, it's a very powerful card.  It can scare people into thinking it's actually contagious.  It can turn one prayer into one million.  The cancer card can make you hit absolute rock bottom.  It can also renew your faith in God.  The cancer card has to be played accordingly...just right. However, the problem with that is...no one has ever explained the rules.  So, I tuck my cancer card back into my hand. I play it the best I can and I go on believing no matter what, I've won the game.

 

I love y'all.  Good night.

 

PS ~ Michelle....leave a comment please.  I need to redeem myself and show ya some love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Ha ha.

 

*** Please say prayers for My Aunt Gloria and our family, Nathan (He's Home!!!), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Mr. Russo, Ms Pammy (recovering from surgery.), Lenore, Trish, David Carey, Sugar and Jeannette. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is in Iraq, fighting the war.

 

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

 

 

 

 

 

When The Warrior Is Weak Who Will Hold His Hand?

Some of you didn't know me when I was going through chemotherapy.  I'd like to think I took the treatment like a champ.  Maybe I did.  Maybe I didn't.  There are bits and pieces of that part of my life I remember.  Oddly, most of them I don't.

I do recall some days after I had my "cocktail", I would lay in bed bundled underneath comforters.  Mom would come over and wash dishes and finish my laundry. In between sleep and potty calls, I could hear children outside laughing and playing and traffic buzzing by, dogs barking and life happening.  It was terrible.  It was terrible to "hear" life, especially because I felt like mine was being sucked away.

It shouldn't surprise you that not long after that round of chemo, when still more chemo was being advised. I decided to quit having the ports jammed in my arms...forever.  I was done.  I wanted the quality of my life back.

So, here I am...and now you know the story.  Many ask if I regret my decision.  I don't.  Not at all.

Now, however I feel like I am at a similar crossroad.  The bad days are becoming more frequent, and the pain killers aren't cutting it.  So, what do I do??  Lord knows, living like "this" is certainly affecting the quality of my life.  But perhaps, this is what the cancer is going to do with me.  I'm not feeling up for dancing the tango.  I'm not about to give up either.

So, let me answer the question for you.  When the warrior is weak who will hold his hand??  I'm asking that each of you will.  In fact, I will hold my hand out to you, if you promise to reach back and squeeze it tightly. With no words spoken at all.

I love y'all so very much!

Thank you Julie. Your words inspired me, obviously!!  You're an incredible friend. 

 

*** Please say prayers for My Aunt Gloria and our family, Nathan (He's Home!!!), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Mr. Russo, Ms Pammy (recovering from surgery.), Lenore, Trish, David Carey, Sugar and Jeannette. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is in Iraq, fighting the war.

 

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!