Saturday, July 7, 2007

An Email

I'm crying.  It's Julie's fault.  She sent me an email that said everything I needed to hear.  So why the tears, y'all are wondering?!  Oh because sometimes I just need to know it is ok to be me.  It's ok to let loose and cry.  It's ok to talk about being scared.  And it's ok to share my reality with a friend, no matter how terrible it might be to cope with.

I sure do love y'all!! 

 

*** Please say prayers for My Aunt Gloria and our family, Nathan (He's Home!!!), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Mr. Russo, Ms Pammy (recovering from surgery.), LenoreTrish, David Carey, Sugar and Jeannette. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is in Iraq, fighting the war.

 

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

 

Needing A Bit Of Inspiration Myself

If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or fight like hell.
~Lance Armstrong

Start living now. Stop saving the good china for that special occasion. Stop withholding your love until that special person materializes. Every day you are alive is a special occasion. Every minute, every breath, is a gift from God.
~Mary Manin Morrissey

"When we come to the edge of the light we know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, of this we can be sure ... Either God will provide something solid to stand on or .... We will be taught to fly. "

 Only when we are no longer afraid, do we begin to live.
~Dorothy Thompson

As you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret are the things you didn't do.                                                                                    

~Zachary Scott

There is a gigantic difference between earning a great deal of money and being rich.                        ~Marlene Dietrich

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.  ~Kenji Miyazawa

Nothing should be prized more highly than the value of each day.
~Goethe

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
~Gilda Radner

 
 

*** Please say prayers for My Aunt Gloria and our family, Nathan (He's Home!!!), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Mr. Russo, Ms Pammy (recovering from surgery.), LenoreTrish, David Carey, Sugar and Jeannette. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is in Iraq, fighting the war.

 

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

 

 

Friday, July 6, 2007

Just An Update

Short and sweet.  Well, not so sweet. The bleeding stopped for two days.  It's now started all over again and I'm passing the big ole blood clots again too.  It's yucky.  I'm taking pain meds regularly and feel like I need to sleep more often than I'd like to.  The cough is the same.

I will see the new oncologist on the 16th.  It seems like a very long time to wait. Sigh...

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Happy 4th!!

"Happy fourth of July everyone–we love this holiday here in the south–every redneck in Anderson County has already spent hundreds of dollars on fireworks…and tonight there will be an abundance of explosions.  ANY reason we can find to blow things up–we’re all over it!"

The above is from someone else's blogSeeeeeeeeeee I was being totally serious!  For those of you who aren't sure what I'm talking about.  Read yesterday's journal entry.

I hope you enjoy today.  Even if you don't see any fireworks. (WHAT?? No fireworks???)  Sit back, relax, have some BBQ, enjoy your friends and family, and be thankful for another day!

I love y'all.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

You've Figured Me Out!

Alright, so I suck.  I have a bad attitude right now, I'm not taking phone calls, and I just want to sleep.  I'm certain if my insides fell out...correction what's left of my insides I would feel much better.  I could just step over them and walk on about my merry way.  Yea, I know be careful of what I wish for.  Did I mention this hateful cough??  OK I'll stop complaining.  It could be so much worse.

People are setting off fireworks already.  I can hear them.  Unlike Maryland, they are legal here.  So much so, that every corner ya drive by...has a huge fireworks stand.  Mike's Marvelous Missile Fireworks, Fred's Fabulous Fireworks, Sam's Super Firework's World.  No, really I'm serious.  Ha ha.

Anyone remember the guy I was dating before I left Maryland?  Smiling....

I'm going to respond to comments now, and then go to sleep.

Sure do love y'all!

 

*** Please say prayers for My Aunt Gloria and our family, Nathan (He's Home!!!), Ms Bobby (she started radiation), Mr. Russo, Ms Pammy (recovering from surgery.), LenoreTrish and David Carey. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is in Iraq, fighting the war.

 

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!

 

 

Monday, July 2, 2007

Sometimes...

I wish the cancer would just disappear.

Sunday, July 1, 2007

A Sleeping pill and some diamonds.

I fell asleep for about two hours.  I couldn't get comfortable though...and here I am.  It's 3:10 am. I continue to have pain. The Loritab doesn't even seem to be taking the edge off.  Sitting is uncomfortable and getting up is worse.  I don't like it. 

Below is something Pamela emailed me.  I actually read it, when I was at her house.  I kept forgetting to forward it to everyone.   As it turns out, I decided it was more appropriate to post it here instead.

Hey Dad,

     I’m sitting here at Crater of Diamond’s State Park (AR – not Arizona but Arkansas) admiring the diamond that I found. Oh yeah, people come from all over to this big, muddy field to look for diamonds. Here’s the kicker, whatever you find you get to keep.

     Why just within the last year, two diamonds over 6 karats each were found. In fact, they average about 3 diamond finds a day here. Most are no bigger than the head of a match.

     There’s not much to it, actually. Some people dig big holes or sift the soil through wooden screens in hopes of finding the treasure, but others (including some of the big diamond finders) just look along the surface for anything that looks shiny.

     Thats how I found my diamond. I just looked over and there it was. Its a big, pretty, reddish-looking one. It must weigh about 2 pounds and is as large as the palm of my hand…what, you thought I meant a genuine diamond? Of course I didn’t. The chances of finding a real diamond are like finding…a diamond in a big, muddy field. What I found was just a smooth orange rock, but I’ll treasure it like it’s a REAL diamond.

     And when I get home, I’ll clean it off, write the date we found it on it, and place it by my desk or in another prominent place next to all my other ‘fake diamonds.’ You see I’ve got a bunch of fake diamonds from all over.

I’ve got a leaf from Mount Vernon, dirt from the dam at Johnstown, water from the swimming pool at Fort Wilderness, a palm frond from a condo westayed at in Florida, Ike’s pirate tooth, Abe’s pacifier, and even the steel ball baring that Ike swallowed (it came out the other end.)

     They’re all fake diamonds---souvenirs of special moments with special people. They don’t have any value on their own, but to me their invaluable and they help me remember moments I never want to forget…or the REAL diamonds.

     So, Dad, keep an eye out for fake diamonds. It might be a Coke can from a picnic, a rock from a special place, or a special shirt that your child outgrows. Hold on to them, and let those ‘fake diamonds’ remind you of the ‘REAL diamonds.’


You ‘da Dad,

Todd 

AKA – The Diamond Hunter

 

Have any "diamonds"??  I know I sure do.  One of my favorites is a frame Pamela made me that has dried flowers from the Mojave desert.  When we were there it was one of the most special, happiest moments in my life.  When I die, that's where I want some of my ashes spread. I hope that last comment didn't freak anyone out!  It's the truth, and hey I didn't say when I die soon...I just said when I die...because we all are going to die at some point.  Ya know?!

I'm going to try to go back to sleep.  I hope y'all are having a great weekend!  Remember how much I love and appreciate you!

 

Congratulations and a lifetime of happiness, love and blessings to Kurt and Felricia!!  They were married Saturday!!!!  YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

*** Please say prayers for My Aunt Gloria and our family, Nathan (He's moved to the Ronald McDonald House.), Ms Bobby (shestarted radiation), Mr. Russo, Ms Pammy (recovering from surgery.), LenoreTrish and David Carey. They are fighting the battle with cancer too .

*** Please say prayers for Jay Carey and his family.  He is in Iraq, fighting the war.

 

 

If this is your first time reading my journal, PLEASE go back to my first entry on 11-15-06 to read about the title MEET ME AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE!! Thanks!